Moon Lord X Reader

~ Moon Lord X Reader ~

The last thing I saw was an ethereal dick cutting my torso in half.

When I respawned and came to, the sun was shining and the birds were singing. I had little memories of my past life as a warrior.

I got to mining pretty quick, and when I surfaced again the moon was out, and that's when I remembered.

Looking up to the sky, meeting the moon's gaze, I remembered Him.

His lustrous eyeballs, his grasping hands, reaching out to me, his endless tongue beckoning my presence, and his enticing Moon Bite debuff that left marks all around my neck and shoulders.

I could see, looking into the craters so far away, that he was calling out for me to join him once again. I set to work, arriving at Bird Bitch's door. Rather tired of the fighting that usually ensued, I told him of my romantic endeavors. He decided to voluntarily summon the pillars to help me in my quest.

Then I fucked him.

Mid-intercourse, Bird Bitch's head fell off from too much force. I decided to take advantage of this identity concealment, and equipped the mask.

Then I kept fucking him.

Once Bird Bitch's robes were turned white, I left the dungeon with regained confidence in my ability.

Signifying the presence of the nebula pillar. With the Bird Bitch's head nestled onto mine, the enemies paid me no mind. Using the psychic powers granted to me, I told the nebula pillar to shut up. It imploded in on itself and granted me the sweet Viagral dust that I needed for performance.

When the sky turned as orange as My Terrarian Ass, I knew that the mother- qwiughlck-qwiughlcks were on the way. Mounting one as easily as an unsuspecting Sexy Lady, I drove the mother-qwiughlck-qwiughlk into the solar pillar's ass, therefore destroying it immediately.

I only survived because the mother-qwiughlck-qwiughlk was donned in a Giant Condom.

The stardust pillar presented little to no challenge for me.

This was due to the fact that, in order to best it, it presented me with a riddle.

"What is the legendary creature said to possess 8 asses, an insatiable appetite, and can suck his own dick?"

I pondered the riddle for no more than a few nanomacromicrogiga seconds before answering promptly,

"Bitch"

The stardust pillar replied, "I'm sorry, but that's incorrect. You may not have my hormonal supplements."

Now, if you know the sgixtxxtftf thing about me, it's that I don't like being wrong.

So I FUCKED him in the ass.

Moving on to the final pillar, I knew that soon the Jehovah's Witnesses would start to swarm the skies, begging me to turn to their god and turn my ass away from my sexual endeavors.

Obviously, this pillar would present the greatest difficulty. I fought my way through the overwhelming hordes of sad looking folk, a whirlwind of flyers attached to doors, and signs that said

"NO MORE SEXY LADY".

Finally, clenching my ass the whole way through, my dick latched on to the vortex pillar and swung me in.

Standing atop the pillar, rightfully claiming myself as the new god of the jehovah's, they all suddenly turned and stood ready to attack.

Using my wealth of history and knowledge, summoned from the depths of my inner bitch, I recalled the unholy word of expulsion and knew I should project it out to the masses with the defiance of the most running-snorting-smiling bitch ever.