My Life

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by ChrisHeart_

by ChrisHeart_

My life is terrible.

I have three brothers.

One of them is a damn potato.

He is the dumbest.

Scenario:

Potato: What do want first?

Me: What'chu mean?

Potato: Girl or boy?

Me: Oh, boy. Girls are too fast these days. (Excluding myself)

Potato: Why don't you catch them?

Me: (Mouth wide open in shock. Silently prays moments after.)

The second one is a damn carrot stick.

He is the most annoying.

That's all.

The last is a sweetheart.

Because he is, hoe!

Notice how I labeled them as vegetables.

I HATE vegetables.

I have a sister too.

She is string beans.

Notice how it's plural.

She is baggy.

I have a dad.

He is rain.

I love the rain sometimes and other times I can't stand it.

I have a mom.

She is also a sweetheart.

And I have a grandma.

She is the last sweetheart.

And me?

I'm the fucking Queen of The Motherfucking World Hoe! You don't know me! You wish you did but you don't! I am the best of the fucking best. You don't know me! You don't know my struggles. You don't know where I've been! Who I've killed! Who I've fucked!

YOU DON'T KNOW ME ! ! !

Call now!