"Can you believe him? He said it was getting boring!"
"...Is this why we had to see Chanyeol's naked bits at six in the morning?"
"—I was still lying there, all sweaty from Post-Orgasm-Stress, and he suddenly opens his stupid mouth! So obviously I had to kick him out because hell no—"
"Technically, we didn't have to see it if hyung hadn't screamed the whole universe down..."
"He rolls off me and was like, 'this is getting kind of boring, don't you think?' Of all the fucking nerve—"
"Kim Jongin, are you enjoying your scrambled eggs? Then shut your yap. But seriously, was it so difficult to at least give him a blanket? Who the hell could prepare breakfast after seeing his naked ass first thing in the morning?"
"Hah, he certainly begged but like hell I was going to give him one."
"So you just decided that the rest of the house had to suffer with him?"
"I gotta say though, his ass isn't that bad."
"I hate to spoil the gossip hour, but I'm right here, guys."
Five pairs of eyes turned to an incredulous-faced Chanyeol, who had just about had enough of being the sole topic of conversation all throughout breakfast – it was bad enough that his dignity was being torn to shreds left, right and centre, but did subtlety not exist anymore?
He turned to the instigator of this whole situation; since the whole fiasco was already public knowledge, there was no more point in pretending. "Baek, you know I didn't mean what I said. Okay, maybe I did," he hastily added at the venomous glare. "But it came out wrong, and I'm sorry."
Baekhyun sniffed petulantly, bottom lip sticking out as he prodded his eggs silently.
"Sorry, Chanyeol, I just didn't expect to see you in your...birthday suit so early in the morning. Or, ever. Preferably." Kyungsoo said sheepishly, obviously feeling guilty; the unexpected sight had welcomed him as he'd walked past the living room on his way to the kitchen, and the initial shock had shortly been followed by a blood-curdling scream that had jolted half of Seoul awake.
The rest of the household had, predictably, then jumped out of their beds to see what the trouble was, which then led to the unwanted sight of Chanyeol's state of shameful undress forever seared in their memories.
"Anyway," Joonmyun, having mostly decided to keep his silence, finally spoke up. "We're leaving in a minute so we'll have to sort this out later. Can we at least try to be civil to each other though? Baekhyun?"
Baekhyun begrudgingly agreed, but as the six packed themselves in the car twenty minutes later, Baekhyun pushed Sehun aside and squeezed himself between Jongin and Kyungsoo in the back seat, pointedly ignoring Chanyeol and any attempts to reconcile for the duration of the journey.
Sehun, who occupied Baekhyun's usual spot beside Chanyeol, gave the older male a comforting pat.
"Don't worry, hyung; if it makes you feel any better, you really do have a decent ass."
**
Albeit his promise to be civil, Baekhyun promptly avoided Chanyeol as if he were the sole carrier of an infectious plague for the rest of the day, and a concerned Joonmyun, finally deciding to take matters into his own hands, turned to Yifan for consultation – the whole story had to be relayed, of course, including the being-kicked-out-of-the-bedroom and seeing-Chanyeol's-bits part – in a bid to gain some insight as to how to solve the problem. After all, Yifan's spartan, no-nonsense methods were sure to knock some sense into the two stubborn heads.
