I Love your Tattoo

Ryan McDougall.  That was his name.  He was six foot two of solid muscle and had the temperament of a pittbull so it made sense that he worked as a bouncer at one of the most popular, elite and hardest to get into clubs in town.

One did not try to bribe him, he would throw you like trash into a trashcan.  Girls didn't dare flash him their hoo hoos because he was as indifferent to them as he was to bribes.  No matter what you tried, if you were not on the list or a guest of someone on the list, you could kiss your chances of getting in goodbye.  Hell, if he was on duty, the chances of a snow storm in hell were better than the chances you had of sneaking in.

Ryan McDougall had the muscle of Dwayne Johnson and tribal tattoos that put The Rock's to shame.  He had short jet hair and the most piercing blue eyes you could find on a human.  The rumours that were spread around him made him out to be a monster, a half human half something else entity who could eat you alive.

Tales were told of how he had once disembowelled a druggie and hung him with his own entrails and even more gory tales on things unmentionable.

I couldn't keep my eyes off him.

Ryan was, in my eyes, the most adorable thing on the planet.  I looked at him and wanted to scream like a Japanese school girl in front of a yaoi manga stand going 'KAWAIIII'.  But I couldn't. Of course that did not stop me from letting my inner fan girl out, in the privacy of my mind, that is, whenever I saw him scowling at some poor soul attempting to con his way inside. 

I've lost count of the number of times I've watched him toss someone onto the street with a flick of his wrist as if they weighed nothing.  He was just so HOT.

Ryan McDougall was a god in my eyes and also the cutest thing alive.  Since the world lived in eternal fear of him, no one looked at him closely enough to notice what was hidden in his scary as hell tribal tattoos.

Hello Kitty!

I. Kid. You. Not!  Hidden in his tattoos were no less than three hello kitty faces and if I was not mistaken, and I never was when it came to my obsession, a unicorn.  An effing Unicorn on the arm of a notorious killer, a man so feared that he manned the door alone and the days he was on duty, there was more order on that line outside the club than you would find in Hitler's army.

I have been watching my adorable one for almost six months now.  Don't get me wrong, I'm not a stalker.  I work the graveyard shift in an all-night diner right across the street from the club and when the club patrons were not rushing in to sober up a bit on lots of coffee before driving home, I had almost unlimited amounts of time to just watch him.  I even had a dark corner behind the counter where I could stand with my binoculars and study his tats.  Yes, its stalkerish of me but who wouldn't go to those lengths to gaze at their beloved across the street, tossing hapless metrosexuals onto their well dressed arses in the street.

Now the thing about me that may surprise you is that I am in fact a man.  Yes, I have a ding-dong between my legs and a flat chest.  I even have respectable abs but of course I was nothing compared to the ripped body of one Ryan McDougall.

I would never have thought of myself as gay but the first time I saw Ryan across the street, I kicked my then girlfriend to the curb and have not looked back since.  I just wish I had the courage to approach him and, like a Japanese School Girl, confess my feelings to him.

I think I've been reading too much manga.

Anyway, what surprised me the most about my feelings for Ryan was the fact that although he towered over my five foot ten frame and could completely hide my body behind his own,  I did not care to have him shove his disco stick into me.  No I wanted to bully him,  push him down and have my way with him.  I longed to see his face flushed in ecstasy as I pounded into him,  I was practically dying to have my adorable teddy bear scream my name as I came inside of him.

            

Awkward, I know.  And to think I was a perfectly straight man.  Hell women still made my mini me spring up in attention but they had nothing on Ryan.

My opportunity came by chance one Monday as I was getting off my shift.  It was around four in the morning.  The café was in a lull, most of the club patrons had either gone home or had been kicked out for closing.  O walked over to my bike, I had bought myself a Kawasaki when I realised that Ryan had a Harley.  A Harley was too hard core for me but the Kawasaki was pretty cool.  It was fast and beautiful and good enough to be beside a Harley without rusting out in shame.

It just so happened that my Kawasaki was parked next to his gleaming machine.  I was so proud of my baby, even though I had been scared witless of her the first few times I took it out.  Now I rode like a professional and kept her clean.

'Nice Bike.'  A disembodied voice said.  I swivelled around so fast I nearly twisted my own ankles.  There was no one in sight.  I took a step forward and the voice spoke again.

'Nice Bike.'

'Whose there?' I asked shaking in my combat boots.  A hulking figure came out of the shadows and I deflated in relief as I saw that it was Ryan.

'I've been wondering who she belongs to.  She's sweet.'  He said looking at my bike like it was the Christmas present he never got.

'Want to take her for a spin?' I asked and immediately face palmed.  Way to go doofus.

'Really?'  the grin on his face made it obvious that for him, Christmas had come in July, which was weird considering the dangerous hunk of metal he drove.

'Sure, on one condition.'  Now he looked at me suspiciously.

'What'  he all but growled at me.

'You give me a kiss'  Oh my Gosh! What the hell was I -    My thoughts were interrupted but the most adorable blush that washed over his face.

I wanted to squeal like a fan girl.  He was just so CUTE!

'uhm..'  He looked anywhere but at me.  He fidgeted and twisted his hand in the most adorable way I just wanted to eat him up.

'You do want to take her for a spin don't you.'  I urged.  He was turning out exactly the way I imagined him.  He nodded and stared at the bike

'Hey look at me'  I urged gently, he turned and looked into my eyes for a split second before his eyes veered elsewhere.  'Just a little kiss here.'  I pointed at my cheek.

He looked at my finger for a moment then followed it to my face.  He blushed even harder then, faster than I could imagine a man his size moving, he was in front of me and his sweet luscious lips were brushing against my cheek.  It was as gentle as a breeze and lasted less than a second but it was the best thing that had ever happened to me in forever.  He. Kissed. Me.

'Now that wasn't so hard was it?'  I asked and if he blushed anymore all his blood will be in his face.  He shook his head.  I smiled.