Here Lies Our Happy Home {Diary of A Troubled Teen}

Chapter 1

HERE LIES OUR HAPPY HOME

Diary of a Troubled Teen

Chapter One

Ok, before we start, let me tell you about myself.  My name is Erica, and Jessica, and I hate my life, and I love it.  Confused?  Let me explain. 

 I’m pretty sure I have some mental disorder. I haven’t actually been tested or something, but I have proof.

 Sometimes I can feel so happy, and light. Like everything in my little world is perfect. If I’m hit on, I’ll blush sweetly and gently let them down, but always thank them for saying that.  I can love everyone without judging, and I’ll even hug strangers because I’m just so happy. Other times, although, I can be so hateful.  I’ll be depressed, and angry.  It feels like everything is wrong. I can only find the worst in a situation, and I hate EVERYBODY.  If someone tries to hug me or talk to me, I want to scream LEAVE ME ALONE!! so they’ll go away. If a boy hits on me, I’ll usually flirt back, and lead him on when in reality, I want to rip his heart out and watch it beat wildly in my hands as I squeeze the life out of him.

 I call my sweet lovable half, Jessica.  I call my ugly hateful half, Erica.

 Jessica loves her life. She doesn’t even realize that her family is slowly crumbling, and the world is a terrible place.  Erica hates her life.  She hates the fact that her parents fight all the time, her brother is gone, and she knows how terrible the world is.  But Erica just plays her part as the sweet and oblivious Jessica, and tries to blend into the world. 

 Ok, here’s a little backstory on my family.  My parents fight ALL THE TIME. Over really stupid stuff.  At first it’s just a little squabble, then stuff starts being thrown and foul language starts.  Usually I hide in my big brother’s room until it’s over. Then the next day they’re madly in love, and it’s only a matter of time until they start again.  Even the littlest thing can set either one of them off.  I act like I don’t care, and by now, I really don’t.  Let them get divorced—I really don’t care at this point. Wow, Erica must be talking right now!

 Um……my older brother Seth died last month.  He was murdered.  He was the best brother I could have, and I loved him with my whole heart.  I think he had a major “big brother” complex. He was always obsessing over me, and whenever I came into a room, I felt like I was the only thing he saw at that moment. Like I was his everything. He made me feel that special.  I remember one night I was scared of something, I don’t even remember what it was now. But I remember he just held me in his arms and sang to me until I fell asleep.  I would always sleep with him, because he would invite me to cuddle with him.  And whatever I did, no matter how terrible, he would always be gentle and understanding, and would help me make things right. But one day, all of that was taken away from me. 

 I remember that day….long before Erica ever existed. All that was there was sweet and kind Jessica…..

 Anyways, that day he dropped me off at school, and he gave me a big hug and kissed my forehead.  I said goodbye, and he looked me straight in the eyes, and said quietly,

 “I love you, sis, don’t ever forget it.” then he grabbed me and hugged me tightly. 

“Seth?” I asked, confused. “What’s wrong?”

I gently pulled away and was shocked to see my big brother crying. This was the first time I’d ever caught him at a weak moment, and seeing him crying, I wanted to cry too.
“What’s wrong?!” I said, horrified.
“Nothing…” he sniffled.  “But can you be late today? I need you right now.”

“Sure,” I said, letting him lean into me and sob quietly.  We sat there for about 20 minutes, while he just cried and sobbed into my shoulder, clinging to me. I was so angry at that moment. What is so powerful that it can make my brother so weak?  I thought.  That was the first time I saw Erica. I was so angry and confused, I was set afire. I wanted to take away his pain; it was killing me to see him this way.  I wanted to erase whatever was hurting him. I hugged him back with everything I had.

 Soon he had calmed down, and said, sniffling, “Hurry up you’re really late.”

“But Seth,” I protested. I didn’t want to leave him after what had just happened.

“Go on,” he forced a weak smile.

Rebelliously, I hugged him tight, tears forming. He gently pulled away and wiped away the tears that were quickly flowing.

“Don’t cry, love,” he said, kissing my cheeks to dry my tears. 

“Look at me.” he said. He cupped my face in his hands, as if to catch my tears in his fingers. “Don’t cry anymore, please.”

We wiped each other’s tears and hugged one more time, and then reluctantly, I left.

 Little did I know that would be the last time I saw my beloved brother.

Ok guys I hope you liked it!! It's based off of me, except my brother died in a car accident a year ago...anyways enough of my depressing stuff I'm really loving this so far I stayed up so late writing this and i have to get up SUPER early tomorrow so bye!! Next chapter will be out soon!