Kimi wa Dekinai Ko

A Mother's Strife

She had so much to do with her life.

She was hardworking and wished to do more with her life then anyone else she knew. Her dreams were big and her head was bigger as she dreamed about everything she knew she'd accomplish; Being rich and famous and powerful and proving that she was better than all those people who dared to claim otherwise. All she had to do was find a way to prove it.

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She smirked as she figured it out. Of course she did, because she could do anything. She had applied for an internship at a big shot company and, against all odds, was taken under the wing of the vice president of the company. The man was older than her and charming, with blonde hair and fairy-like purple eyes. However, that wasn't the focus of her attention. The important thing was that he was rich. Powerful. Everything that she wanted to be. And, God damn it, she would get what she wanted. She always did. So, at the moment, that meant learning more about him, his in's and outs, and charming him until he was putty in her hands.

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He was american, as was obvious with his tan and his horrid accent she pretended wasn't really that bad. He wasn't horribly business orientated, and it seemed he was only able to hold the position because of her help sometimes, even if no one seemed to agree. They were just jealous of her. It was the only obvious answer. So, she grew closer to power as she grew closer to the man.

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He was in love with her. Of course he was, who could resist her charm? He bought her small gifts and gave her quick smiles and saved her a spot at meetings and had even promised to bump her to 'assistant', so she was payed for her efforts. He was obviously in love. Everything was just perfect.

* * * * * * * * * * * * * *

He kissed her. It tasted like victory. She had won his heart. With a smirk on her lips she was sure would have made him suspicious if her were less drunk, she led him to the bedroom. What better way to secure a relationship, make him all hers?

* * * * * * * * * * * * * *

Everyone knew you couldn't get pregnant your first time. She couldn't remember exactly why that was, but it was true. It had to be true. She had no interest in having a child. She had too much to do with her life.

* * * * * * * * * * * * * *

Her stomach grew. She had been eating a bit more lately, flaunting her money. Perhaps she should cut back, and she went on a diet.

* * * * * * * * * * * * * *

A co-worker teased her for being pregnant, who's the lucky guy? She was barely able to laugh it off as she denied the claim, earning a disbelieving glance. She left. She had work to do.

* * * * * * * * * * * * * *

She was curious and nervous, she had to admit. What if she was pregnant? A shiver went down her spine and she shook her head. No way. And yet...She still found herself buying the test and scoffing at herself for the ridiculousness of it all.

* * * * * * * * * * * * * *

She. Was. Furious. And she couldn't decide who she was furious with. Herself, for believing a myth she hadn't looked into? Him, for impregnating her? She didn't know. She couldn't know. But, she did know one thing. She had to tell him. She still hadn't gotten a dime, she couldn't buy her own abortion operation.

* * * * * * * * * * * * * *

She walked in on him and his secretary, the one that was rarely there but still got paid. The two of them were yacking on each other, hands all over one another as she opened the door and stood in shock. How dare he? Cheating on her with some other bitch from America? Her mouth dropped further as she realized the matching rings on their fingers; hidden beneath his gloves, but still a small bulge she should have noticed before. This was his wife. Her face went red with anger. How dare he? He played her like a fiddle, her of all people! It should have been the other way around! She stomped right up to them and threw the positive test at him like a dart, then stormed out, satisfied to hear yelling in a foreign language (english, maybe). It's what he deserved.

* * * * * * * * * * * * * *

She received a phone call from him hours later, and felt her heart flutter. Surely he had realized the error in his ways, seen how absolutely perfect she was. He was calling her with his tail between his legs and a large sum of money for the operation as an apology and she'd be on top again. She picked the phone up with a smirk.

* * * * * * * * * * * * * *

She was fired. He had called to fire her, and inform her of a restraining order, and warn her that any further attempt to tarnish his reputation with lies would earn her no more than a lawsuit. He hung up before she could say anything, and she screamed.

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She went after him. She demanded that he pay for the operation. He refused. She demanded he pay child support. He refused. She begged for a kiss goodbye. He refused.

* * * * * * * * * * * * * *

She couldn't get the operation now. People would look down on her for the act, and she didn't have him and his money and his influence to hide behind anymore. She had nothing left besides a Child, to be born any day now that she wanted nothing to do with.

* * * * * * * * * * * * * *

She did manage to make one deal, however. In exchange for talking with his wife and claiming to have been lying with a fake test and apologizing for her justified actions, He would buy her a small house and sign a letter of recommendation. She smiled her plastic smile and nodded along.

* * * * * * * * * * * * * *

She apologized, sticking to the script she had written in her head. Her mouth was on auto pilot and her eyes were a bit glazed over as she imagined punching this woman for ruining her life.

* * * * * * * * * * * * * *

The house is small and cramped and smelled old. The wallpaper was peeling off. It was one floor, one bedroom, one kitchen/dining room, and a small living room. She would be the responsible for the rent in 5 years time. She hated the place.

* * * * * * * * * * * * * *

She gives birth at home, not able to afford the bill that came with a hospital. She hired a midwife and bought a ton of pain killers. She gives a frustrated groan as she thinks of what's to come, and reflects on all she could have been. She doesn't get much time, as her contractions came closer together

* * * * * * * * * * * * * *

The boy was born, and he didn't share any more then her skin tone. He had gotten His Father's lilac eyes and blonde hair that she found Disgusting. This boy dared to mix her perfect skin tone with a face so similar to that Bastard? She cried when she saw his face, and the midwife grinned sweetly, assuring her that the boy was born healthily. Why did nothing ever go right?

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