The Gatsby

CHAPTER ONE: Kloey

When I was younger, headstrong with a mind of purity and innocence, my mother taught me a great deal of things.

The cherry lights were dimmed and eighties music danced through the room, the aroma of peach and cherry soda softly wafted around me as I sat in the diner that was attached the the roller rink that my boyfriend was in with my roommate, Adrianna, and I remembered my mother,and all the teachings that she had tried to make stick with me, but I had pushed away, adamant to believe she was wrong.

She had said "love is a fools game, with only pain and suffering as an outcome, no one will ever love you, Kloey, no one will want to go through that pain and suffering for you of all people, you're worthless, Kloey, absolutely worthless"

My mother had always been a gentle soul who believed the worst in all, but it was me who she had actually despised,

I was a constant reminder that father could now love someone more than her, that she could now be considered an adult, I was the constant reminder that she had lost what she had valued and loved the most in her life, her youth

so I had told her that she was wrong, that I would find true love, and that person who I loved would love me in return, but as I stared at the pair through the pink tinted glass in the room next to mine and stared intently at the way they stared at each other, I became aware that all my mothers teachings had been right.

I sighed and looked down at the now sinking cherry in my soda, so if my mother was right about that then this probably meant that I should eat less salt because my face was beginning to bloat, too.

I looked back up at the pair, Adrianna's glasses fell off and she was blushing like a loon as Marcus bent down to pick them up for her.

I winced as she very visibly shivered as he pushed a stand of her hair behind he ear, he had  lied

And my mother had been right.

He had never loved me,

Just like no one ever would.

🔹🔷🔹

I texted Marc that I was tired and going home when I realized that a tear had fallen from my tear duct.
I was not going to cry in public, or anywhere else for that matter.

It was freezing out,

Marcus offered to drop me back at the school, but I said no, that I wanted fresh air and wanted to walk, if he had ever even cared for me he would've offered to walk with me or at least noted the millions of times I told him that I hated the cold and would rather burn in fire than be in a place even remotely cold, but he left me to walk, at night, all on my own

In the freezing cold

I really should've thought this through before trying to make a statement, that I didn't need him or something, I was quite obviously wrong, I don't know what it is about me, but I've always craved intimacy and love, all the crucial things that someone should get from any loving relationship.

That I had never gotten, and according to my mother, never deserved.

I stopped in my tracks and shook  my arms and rubbed my hands together to try and warm them up.

I was in the middle of doing that when I heard the bushes rustling and my heart rate sped up,

I was frozen to my spot and unable to move, when a thin, meek black cat came out from behind the bushes,

When my breathing regulated, I scowled, I was scared out of my mind because of a starving cat, my scowl became deeper as this near death experience had reminded me of the fact that my supposed boyfriend had left me to walk back to school, at night, alone,

And in the freezing cold

Because he would rather be with my roommate. I couldn't think about it anymore, it felt like millions of needles were pricking my heart, I felt like I was drowning, to distract myself from my impending situation, I pulled my red velvet scrunchy from Marcus' varsity jacket and tied my hair up and began to run, the rest of the way to school.

🔹🔷🔹

I finally reached our boarding school building with too much on my mind.

I ignore all the friendly greetings and make my way to the gym, I go to my locker and pull out a cotton red sports bra and cherry pink shorts and begin to rehearse our routine for the pep rally tomorrow.

I work and work and work until I have all my moves perfected, until my arms and legs hurt, until all my limbs burn and I fall back onto the carpet, smiling, feeling as if I'm cleaning of all the shitty memories out of my system, satisfied, I relish in the feeling of staring over, of cleaning myself, of being someone new, of being someone my mother would approve of, of being someone people could love.

🔹🔷🔹

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