Ramble

me

I want to change the world. But I don't know how. Find an incredible drug that'll cure cancer? Find an answer to an everlasting energy supply? Only to have it taken away by the government? So instead what do I do? I light up a joint and I watch stupid sitcoms because that makes me not think about anything except how Rachel and Ross have the worst relationship ever.

No but seriously. Ross and Rachel, Rachel and Ross. Why the fuck is Friends such a funny sitcom? I don't get it. Why is it that every time I have absolutely nothing to watch, I revert to Friends. Like, some kind of drug. Some kind of wholesome drug.

Another sitcom I watch is The Nanny with Fran Drescher. Wow. I'm not really sure where I came across this one, I think it used to air on the TV when I was younger and I was just drawn into it because of all the fluffy hair and the high pitched voices. But wow. In fact, I believe The Nanny was my introduction to stereotypically Jewish people, and now since I'm older, I never miss stereotypical Jewish jokes, although I've never met a Jewish person in real life. I'm not really sure I'll ever meet a Jewish person in real life.

So, changing the world. It's something I really want to do. But where the fuck do I start? I had no idea what to do after I finished my highschool and so I picked the most obvious choice for a brown person to pick, I picked science. And now I'm in university, in my last year, following classes that I only have a mild interest in. But I don't really know what else to do. So I write. Because that I can do.

Now, don't get me wrong. Just because I write doesn't mean I'm good at it. In fact, I don't think I'm good at anything. I'm just like the most average person out there, but with like an above average butt because I was blessed with a genetic line that carries a fabulous ass. So I'm just this averagely intellectual, short, brown, chubby girl with a big butt. I'm loud but also not so loud, kinda caring kinda not, kinda sympathetic kinda not.

Anyways, yeah I used to write when I was younger, long winded stories about people and places and emotions that I didn't understand. But you know what, now that I think about it, I feel like I totally knew what feelings were back then. Now I'm just a robot. I don't feel a lot of sadness and even if I do, it's so brief that I feel like it didn't even happen. Like how this friend of mine graduated, well not really graduated, she transferred to America and I'd only known her for a couple of weeks, but we really hit it off and then she left and I hugged her and I willed the tears to well in my eyes but they didn't so I squeezed my eyes real hard and pretended. But it's not like I was not sad. I was really, really sad. I don't know. Well, later on I was alone in the elevator and I remembered how I straggled my friend on the floor when we were both drunk, and I cried real hard while also laughing. But that lasted only till the elevator got to the 17th floor, that's about 30 whole seconds, at which point I got off it and continued with whatever it was that I was continuing with.

So now, I'm an average girl with no crazy talents or interests and I'm also a bit of a robot. That's reassuring.