Matt Anomaly: The Fake Reality

Chapter I: Confusion

It was 8 am, and I was awake... College was supposed to start at 8 and well so,  I'm late... Maybe I should just stop laying in bed thinking and start getting ready. I was showering while I had all these thoughts in mind. "What if?, What if?" repeatedly. I kept thinking

"What if they make fun of me?" yeah pretty scary huh? I left home, well it's not like a home thing, I could call it a residential place where crime happens, so yeah, a home. I had to take the bus, it was 7 blocks away and I had to walk all the way over there. It was 8:36 am when I was getting close and the bus was leaving at 8:30 am.

"I'm screwed" I told myself.

"I'm totally late, damn it". Once I got there, the bus had left 16 minutes ago.

"How can I keep up like this?" another one of the perpetual questions popping up in my head this morning.

"What will people think of me when I enter the classroom?" I kept asking myself.  I know I've been irresponsible since the incident, but this sucks and I can't really react. It's complicated to explain the person I've become, I mean before... I was happy, I was careful, I was me, but now I feel like I've been in a comma since things changed in my life suddenly. Finally, after a while the bus arrived, which means I took the 9:00 am, so I still have some time to get there. I hope everything goes well, but to keep myself calm I began repeating myself a soothing mantra. Maintain control Matt, you can do this.

When I got to college it was raining, so I got all wet.

"Fuck, I am a mess" I said. I looked at my clothes, thought to atleast dry myself a little but I had no choice, I was already there, in front of college. I walked down the hall while tons of students and professors stared at me. I was nervous once I walked to the classroom. I was late as usual. When I entered the classroom my professor caught me.

"Mr. Thompson, back from the dead huh? Take a seat, don't want to hear any excuses". I did't even have the chance to speak, but what was I supposed to say? I'm a depressed, and I don't even have someone to talk to. As I went to my seat I plugged my headphones on, since the first period was almost done. I wanted to share my ideas and imagination through a drawing or a song, I don't know, just want to express my mind on paper, being so mentally estimulated made me feel overwhelmed at times. At 12 in the afternoon my class period was done and I was finally free to go. I'm actually supposed to go to work, and as usual I'm late there as well. Luckily I don't get fired since the manager, Kevin, was a close friend of my cousin Ethan, who recently moved to Florida. He said things weren't doing well here in Chicago, so he moved and left me his spot in this market. It was kind of him to do that nice thing for me, but I haven't shown any interest in working, and I'm letting Kevin down which is honestly a huge bummer.  He has always counted on me and always forgives me for not being there for him. So I was on my way to Kevin's store, and when I got there he was already looking at me with that face, that face of disappointment.

"Kevin i'm sor-" I began saying but was interrupted by him.

"Matty, you look tired, did you sleep well?" he said.  

"No...I just wanna apologize, I know I haven't been myself lately ever since...you know..." I replied. Kevin looked at me with that worried face again and placed his hand on my shoulder

"I know you since you were 13 and I know you're better than this okay? Just go home Matt, I'll take care of this today, just go rest" I knew if I tried to convince him to stay he would just end up sitting me down and giving me a chat, so I just walked away, it was time to be home again. I don't even know if to call it a home. It was time to step on those boring, cracked stairs, time to see the shitty place I lived, the shitty apartment I slept in. I'm so tired, I just wanna sleep, just wanna find something new. Slowly I closed my eyes to sleep and before I had time to process everything became peace again.