Will you love me now ?

When those blades touch my skin,

I feel lighter.

as the blood drips and traces my skin,

I feel comfort seeping in.

The pain feels like pleasure,

and my mind tells me it's okay because no one cares.

Soon darkness engulfs me ,

and I lie  on the cold hard ground, motionless.

It's not that I don't want to live,

it's just that I don't have any reasons to go on.

Just like the blood dripping from my body,

I'll soon drip down from everyone's life

and be forgotten.

These cuts on my skin ,

are scars from battles I have fought,

from battles that I have fought with myself.

Everyday I would wake up

and tell myself

that today will be better .

But now every second, I wish it were all over .

I have no strength left, I have no hope.

I'm not capable of giving life a second chance.

I always tried to fit in with the rest ,

to show that I'm worthy ,

to make myself feel loved .

But then in the end

it won't matter ,

because I know I'll be forgotten

just like everyday.

Maybe you'll come visit me once,

and say things you don't mean

but in the end I'll always know,

that you will never love me ,

you won't embrace my scars.

So now ,I've stopped asking myself

the question - "will you love me now ?"

____________________________________________________________________________

This poem isn't meant to glorify suicide and self harm . The main reason why  I chose to write this is because often we say or do things that have a huge impact on people. We have no idea what the person standing in front of us is going through. it may be physical abuse, drug abuse, sexual abuse, rape, or emotional trauma, etc. 

So please it is my humble request to you to treat everyone with kindness.

Spread love, give love , preach love.

hugs and kisses.

~ A.M