euphoria / jjk

selfishness or self love?

dear jeongguk,

i'm not saying i hated being with you, in fact i still miss being around. your dull eyes which once had a shine in them always stopped me from leaving, maybe i am too selfish that i left as soon as that shine revived in your eyes. i'm sorry i killed your light, but i'm not sorry for trying to ignite my own. i say sorry too much but if there's one thing i'm not sorry for is leaving you to discover myself.

i remember the last time we spoke, less of a conversation and more of trembling voices and tear stained faces. you asked me if you ever meant something to me, i was scared. i was scared if i said one more thing i'd completely shatter your heart.
so with one last kiss on your lips, i took ahold of my bags and left. without looking back, i left.

it didn't ever occur to me how painful it must be for you, until now, 10 months later till we met again.