sweet tears((2doc fic))

Natural Instincts

Author's note:  This is my first real fanfic.  By that I mean a fanfic I've actually published.  I've written so many, and shared them with others, but never actually published my work.  Sooo here is a 2doc fanfic.  Thank you if you are reading this.  Or should I say 'fank you!'  

2D

I had enough of this.  Why me?  Oh right because Noodle is too young and innocent, and Russel could easily kill him.  But he won't.  Because Russ is a great guy.  Now their not here and he still has to hit me and spit mean words at me.  It's even easier for him to beat me up since Russel won't separate him from me, and Noodle won't yell at him in Japanese telling him to get off of me.  I hate it!  I hate that after all of the things he's fucking done... I let myself forgive him.  And worse than that, I love him.  And it won't go away.  

Narrator

2D wipes his tears away thinking for too long and starting to dig himself into a deep dark hole.  He slowly gets up from laying down in his bed, instantly regretting it.  "Uhhhh."  He groans stumbling out of his room with his splitting migraine.  The only thing on his mind was his pills.  

...

Stumbling into the kitchen he opened a cabinet where he found his stash of peppermint tea bags and four half-empty bottles of painkillers.  He opened the fridge and pulled out a bottle of partially drunken water.  Normally he would've swallowed them dry, without any liquid to go down with, but he was also highly dehydrated.  He started to shiver.  His orb-like eyes revealed little tears.  Soon enough streams of salty despair leak out of his black eyes.  The shaking and shivering got worse, more violent.  He wasn't cold.  He wasn't hot.  He was numb.  But he also experienced punches in the gut from past emotions.  He still felt love.  And sadness.  And anger.  But it hit him over the head like a massive wave.  He was either numb.  Or could feel everything.  And he hated it.  Suddenly the singer dumped the ice cold water on his head.  Maybe it would help him feel something he thought.  It'll hide the tears.  

Murdoc

It was around 1 in the afternoon and I was fucking tired.  Not surprising.  I'm always tired.  I needed to work on a song with 2D.  Better lock him in the room with the sodding whale.  That'll knock some sense into him.  Fuck it.  That dullard will never learn.  I stumbled into his room.  I don't know why I went in there.  He's always up earlier than me.  I decide to go downstairs.  He'll probably be watching one of those zombie films.

...

"Sweet Satan what did you do that for?"  I growled still kind of frozen from just walking in on him pour water on his head.  

2D

I bite my lip until I start to taste iron.  I don't bother wiping off the blood on my mouth.  Why does he always walk in or 'barge' in at the worst times?  I instantly start sweating, even though I know he's going to beat me in less than five minutes.  No matter what I say it'll be that.  

"Answer me! Fuckin' hell what's wrong with you? You disgust me! What do you gotta say for yourself?" 

 I didn't want to turn around so I didn't.  I gotta control my impulses.  I bit on my already bloody lip, hoping for another insult so I won't have to talk.  Suddenly, a hand grabs my arm and spins me around.  He pulls me closer to his face, by the collar of my shirt pushing me down a little so we meet eye to eye.  

"What is this?  What do you have to say for yourself, faceache?"  

I clench my teeth as hard as possible.  It's not gonna work.  I can't believe that this is happening.  Please don't let me die.  Actually, maybe that'll be easier.  Maybe dying is better.  

"What.  The.  Fuck.  2D?"  He looked into my eyes one last time.  

"You want ta know why?  I..I... I FUCKIN LUV YA!  I WANT YA TA FINK THAT I'M WORTHY OF LIFE!  JUST FOR ONCE!  I WANT YOU TO LOVE ME!  AND KISS ME!  AND FUCK ME!!  I WANT TO FEEL LIKE IM SOMETHING!  JUST FOR ONCE!  JUST ONE TIME!  I WANT TO STOP SUFFERING.  YOU MAKE ME CRAZY!  I DON'T WANT TO LOVE YOU MURDOC!!  BUT I DO!  AND I HATE IT SO FUCKING MUCH!  YOU ARE THE ONLY THING I LOOK FORWARD TO!  EVEN IF IT'S JUST YOU PUNCHING ME IN THE FACE, OR KNOCKING ME OUT!  EVEN IF YOU COME HOME DRUNK ONE NIGHT AND TELL ME ABOUT HOW YOU SHAGGED A BIRD!  YEAH, I DIE A LITTLE BUT SEEING A SMILE ON YOUR FACE IS ALL THAT MATTERS!  ALL YOU KNOW IS LUST!  YOU DON'T HAVE A FUCKING HEART!  SO HIT ME!  YOU'VE WON!  GOOD JOB!"

Author's Note:  Yeah.. that was a lot!  I'm sorry but I did warn ya!!  Thanks