Mental Disorders Explained through Fanfiction

Social anxiety/a little depression

         TRIGGER WARNING - this part contains reference to suicide and homophobic slurs. If you don't feel comfortable reading any of those, the. Please don't read. I want everyone to stay safe. This is merely for my own purpose and how I'm dealing with my mental disorders. Each chapter will be dealing with each one I have been diagnosed with. If you want me to do any other mental disorder that I do not have, request it if you'd like. But this book is merely for me to write in fan fiction form to help people better understand what people go through and how we feel. The first part I wrote is Social Anxiety. Enjoy! :)

         The air was crisp. He took in a steady breath as he mentally prepared himself to go outside. He hates going outside. The people, always watching his every move. Judgmental, closed minded, jerks. Why do they have to judge him? Yeah, he likes boys, he wears feminine clothes, he likes pastel colors, so what? He is still human.
          Dan took one last look at his house and took a step outside. He took in the nice, sunny day. The birds were chirping, squirrels wrestling, and the sun is out with the gust of wind. Dan looks to he right, then left, and then takes off.
         He started walking with his head down, pastel pusheen cat backpack sling over his back, pastel pink skirt  moving with the wind. When he sees people drive by he tries to hide behind something so they don't see him, just a normal thing to do right?

One more block, Dan thinks, then I'll be at hell.

         And then, BAM! Dan was thrown to the ground, book bag scattered to his left.

         "Hey faggot!" Pj said, "why are you even alive still? Didn't I tell you to kill yourself yesterday?"

         "Yeah you did..." Dan whispered, not making eye contact with him.

         "Then why don't you do it so I don't have to, queer?"

         Dan had let a few tears slipped. Why do they do this to me?

          Pj kicked him three more times, Dan groaning with each impact. Pj then walked off, spitting in Dan's face.

         "Bye faggot"
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         Phil saw the cute boy again. He was on the ground with a bloody nose, whimpering and crying. Phil went over there to help him.
         When Phil neared him, Dan curled into himself and tried to move away.

         "Hey, hey. It's okay. I'm here to help you."

         Dan stumbled up as best as he can and ran back to his house. He limped up to his room, grabbing a knife as he went.
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Daniel Howell
         1991 - 2018
  Cause of death -Suicide

         Phil read it over and over, not believing his eyes. The boy he tried to help. The boy that ran away from him. The boy he had a crushed on and was brave enough to confess to him when he saw him on the ground. Dead. Phil dropped to the ground, tears spilling out of his eyes. He dropped the rose he had, Dan's favorite color. Pastel pink. He covered his eyes, cursing himself  for not running after him, not doing anything when he ran. Now that cute, innocent, socially anxious boy is now dead.
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