Love Rehabilitated

Chapter I

Comfortable: adj.

1.providing physical ease and relaxation

2.free from stress or fear.

/////

The funny thing about life, is that it's never meant to be comfortable, at least not for me.

Some people live their lives with sameness. They have a routine that they follow everyday, and if something comes up to interrupt that routine, they have a plan. More often than not, that something isn't a big something. That something is usually something simple.

And they may make a big fuss about it. There may be a big drama that comes up over nothing, and I'm not shaming that. I used to be like that once too. But to know true pain and disarray, to know true deviance from the original plan, to know true loss, you must first suffer it.

And then those somethings, that in reality should be nothings, actually become nothings. And why is that? It's because then you know what a true something is. Once you are deprived of your security, whether it be that of a person, a routine, or a thought, and then once you are put through a trial, that is when you can truly understand what it is to have a something.

See, I was once like most people. I made somethings out of nothings, and I followed my daily routine. It went a little like wake up at four in the morning, drink a protein shake, swim until eight in the morning, eat breakfast, go to class, eat lunch, go to another class, swim, have dinner, and swim again. I wasn't just comfortable, I was thriving.

I was Harvey Coleman, all star of the Texas A&M swim team, self taught cook, certified genius, and poster child for the perfect daughter.

I grew up in a perfect loving family, had an older brother who led the soccer team to state championship, a twin sister who was a musical prodigy from age four, and a younger sister who had already won two national art competitions.

I was captain of the swim team in high school, salutatorian, fluent in Spanish, and I helped my school win third place national in mock trial.

I was comfortable. Very comfortable.

And then at the end of my senior year of college, my whole world crumbled to the ground.

It started like a regular day, wake up, protein shake, swim, breakfast, class, lunch, class, swim, but instead of going to dinner, my sisters and brother surprised me as I was getting out of the pool.

"Hey y'all, what's up?" I exclaimed grinning as I pulled myself out of the pool. My older brother Drew pulled me in for a hug, while my twin Malia and my younger sister, Jamie, who was a sophomore in college backed away and scrunched up their noses.

Manning, my best friend and teammate walked up to me. "A little water never hurt anyone you know," he said with a wink towards Malia as he leaned his elbow on my shoulder.

"Manning, go away." I laughed as I halfheartedly swatted him. 

"Never." He shouted dramatically as he wrapped his arms around my shoulders.

I turned towards my siblings, "So what exactly are y'all doing here?"

"We're here to surprise you!" Jamie said with jazz hands.

"So surprise." Malia added  in on the end.

"Come on sis, we know you love your swim suit, but change into something nice and come to dinner with us." Drew laughed, handing me a bag of clothes.

I took it with a playful glare at him and swiveled out from underneath Manning's arms. "So I'm not invited to the Coleman family dinner?" 

"Not this time bro," Drew said, "Mom and dad wanted it to me family exclusive. It's almost like they knew you would ask..." He trailed off with a smirk.

"Hey! I do not come to that many family dinners." Manning laughed.

"Yeah you do, Manning." Malia responded.

"Well only because I'm like the second son of the family. I'm the fifth child!" Manning reasoned.

"Child?" Jamie asked rhetorically, "Yeah that I agree with."

"Harvey, you're family is bullies." Manning said, turning to me.

"Yeah, but you deserve it." I winked, and with a slap to his butt, I walked off towards the changing rooms.

I dressed as quickly as I could that night, practically running out of the changing room, ready to go have dinner with my favorite people in the entire world, my family.

Once we got to dinner however, Drew and I were joking around and playing tug of war with a napkin as always, Malia was looking as if she were embarrassed to be with us, and Jamie was talking everyone's heads off, as per normal.

Everything was normal except for one thing.

"Jamie can you-" our dad started.

"Hold on dad, I mean, we were in class and this girl just stands up-" Jamie continues.

"Jamie, I need to-" 

"Dad, she stands up, with her book-bag on and everything-"

"Jamie!"

"Hold on dad, just a second, and then she just, I mean guess what she does? she-"

"Mom and I are getting a divorce!" Dad shouts.

"She gets, umm, gets uh up and umm she uh walks out of the uhm class." Jamie stutters to finish.

"Mom and I are getting a divorce." Dad repeats quieter, but it's too late. Drew and I have gone completely still, Malia's stopped trying to conceal a smile, because there's not one to conceal, and Jamie? Jamie's mouth is opening and closing, and the tears are already forming in her eyes.

The food arrives just then and the rest of dinner is silent. In some unspoken agreement with the siblings, we all eat our food really fast, and the waiter brings the check soon after Malia has taken her last bite. Throughout dinner, mom and dad have been trying to catch our eyes, but I haven't looked up once.

The only reason I'm able to keep myself together is Malia's hand in mine which is convenient since she's left handed and I'm right handed. Every time I feel a wave of tears, I squeeze her hand as hard as I can and she lets me. Every so often, Drew kicks me under the table, and I look up at him and try my best to manage a smile, and my best is not very good.

A long car ride back to my campus is not something I want to sit through, so I call an Uber. "Jamie, Drew, Malia? I'm calling an Uber if y'all wanna crash in my apartment."

"If you don't mind." Malia says, and Jamie nods her head.

"I uh, actually have to fly back out to California tomorrow morning, so I guess I"ll go with mom and dad." Drew says.

We hug him and awkwardly wave goodbye to our parents right as Denise, our Uber driver, pulls up. As bad as I feel about leaving Drew, call me selfish but I'd feel a hundred times worse being in that car.

"To 434 Destin Ave NE?" She asks as we get in the car.

"Yes m'am." I reply.

The drive is silent. Jamie hasn't said a thing, which is uncommon, even when she hears bad news. She wouldn't stop blabbering when her high school boyfriend cheated on her, but I guess this is a whole new level of terribly bad things.

Malia, who is sitting in the passenger seat, turns to look at me. "Some family dinner, huh?" She asks as her voice wavers.

"Ye-"

I never got a chance to finish my sentence.