Letting go

I can't sleep at night because I'm up thinking about what we could've been.
How we could've turned out and what we could've become.
If I hadn't given up and you hadn't stopped caring .
If I had asked you what was wrong and you didn't hide your feelings.
See, I just wanted you to keep it real but I can't blame you since you kept it as real as I kept it with you .
I miss what we had . The sneaking out at night , the thrill and the rush of doing things we weren't supposed to .
You were my best friend.
But you see, something went wrong somewhere along the way
When we hung out it was like you were there but you weren't there.
I mean your body was but your mind was far gone .
You were distant and for awhile I thought you were cheating on me .
So I did a little digging and I found out that you were . Just not like I imagined .
She was your other woman and I was furious.
Furious that I was no longer the only one. 
She came out of no where and took over your life .
It was her over everyone else and I got jealous
Jealous that she gave you sensations that I couldn't provide .
You were so smart but she made you dumb.
You were a good listener but she made you ignorant.
You were so caring but she made you heartless.
I used to leave with a smile on my face everyday after seeing you but that smile was now replaced by a dozen tears.
She was your drug and you were addicted.
I didn't know what to do but I knew I had to cut off your supply .
I tried and I tried to get rid of her but she was always there .
Stuck on you like a leech, slowly sucking away at your blood until you ran dry .
She went by a lot of names but you knew her as Mary Jane, Xans, Percs, and Lean.
You let her control you .
"Her little puppet"
So I slowly realized that I couldn't change you .
I couldn't force you to forget about her because you were already obsessed .
So I only had one choice .
I had to let you go.
If you had really wanted me in your life then you would have made an effort to keep me there but you didn't
So I stopped .
not caring because you already had a piece of my heart but I just stopped wasting my efforts
So I'm lying here in bed because I can't sleep at night .
I'm thinking of the future we could have had .
How we could have turned out and what we could have become .
But I guess right now it's only a bunch of
"could have's"