A Letter For Him [Oneshot]

02/23/14

Dear A,

           Hey. It has been a long time since I told you this and it may be hard to admit, but yeah, I missed you...I miss you so much. I couldn't take it anymore, so I decided to write you this letter. Well, a part of me knows that you wouldn't even dare to look at this letter but a part of me still believes that you would. K, how did we end up here anyway? How did we mess things up? Was it something I said? Or you were just tired of being with me? I want to know that. Please. This time, I beg you. I want to know why you are acting this way. Why do you always make me feel like I'm just someone that could easily be taken for granted? How could you do that? I always wanted to scream in front of you just for you to know...to understand. But you were always the one who would act like there's nothing wrong and that life is a fairytale. Fairytale? I don't believe in that because if that's true then prince charming would be with me right now and I won't be writing this letter to you. I mean, do you even have any idea that it already hurts? For it hurts to act like everything is okay. It hurts to act like I don't care at all. It hurts that all of your promises turned into ashes. It hurts to look at you everyday and pretend that were okay. But...no, we are not okay. We used to be but not anymore. And you know what hurts the most? It's the moment wherein I would go to bed every night and all I could think is you. I may be smiling all day and act like I don't give a damn but it has always been you and I hope that you know that. Because no matter how complicated everything is, I'd still choose you. And to be honest, I hate myself for that. I hate myself that I could not let you go. I hate myself for believing that you still care. I hate myself for being dumb because of you. And I hate myself because I cannot hate you. It's like I want to throw you off the cliff and rush to the bottom to catch you. Pathetic. But that's true because I love you. I love you so much that it hurts. But I never regreted loving you. Always remember that.

I don't know if anything will change after you read this letter, if you will even read this letter. But no matter how long will it take for you to respond, I will always be here...hoping that you will realize everything. And will keep on hoping that one day, you'll be standing on my doorstep and that everything would be okay again. Because this time, i won't ask for the better or for the best. But all that I'll ask for is for us to be together again. Because finally, this time "okay" is enough.

P.S. I'll wait for you.

Love,
      L