PROLOGUE

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October, 2009.

ROBYN

Tears cascades freely down my cheeks as my mother's casket lowers into the ground. A chill goes down my spine. My body shakes as I try to suppress my sobs. I never thought this day would come.

Not now. Not ever. I hug my younger sisters, Reyna and Remi. They hug back tightly.

"It's okay, guys. We're going to be okay." I say, trying to be strong enough for all of us. I'm all they have now, since my mother is now deceased.

Three years ago, my mother was diagnosed with stage four of breast cancer. My mother was in and out of the hospital for three years. There came to a point where she could barely work anymore. The bills couldn't get paid at home because our money was constantly going to hospital bills.

I had no other choice but to get a job that paid minimum wage when I turned sixteen. Now I work at Joe's Market part-time. Joe was a friend of my mother's, so he didn't have a problem giving me the job. It's ten minutes away from home so it's never a problem for me to get to work on time with our hectic schedule.

I usually walk to work and my sisters would usually ride the bus because my mother was always too sick to drive us.

When I'm not working at Joe's Market, I sometimes babysit. I recently had to quit. No one was there to look after my sisters or cook for them while my mother was in the hospital.

So I have to do. I have to take care of them. Every morning, I'll wake up not a minute past six o'clock, to make sure my sister's are awake, showered, dressed and ready for school.

I made sure I kept them focus on their school work and did the necessary chores around the house.

I never had time to myself. If I'm not taking care of my sisters, I'm sitting by my mother's side at the hospital.

I never had time to hang with my friends, go to the movies, or go shopping. I didn't live the life of a normal teenager.

We didn't have any family to depend on or seek help from. My father walked out on us two years before my mother was diagnosed. I was eleven years old. Reyna was seven and Remi was just an innocent five year old.

They both were innocent.

One night, I was awaken to screaming and yelling. It was probably 3 A.M in the morning. I slowly crept out of bed. I peeked my head into their room.

My father was screaming at my mother and she was crying uncontrollably. He pulled a suitcase from the closet and began filling it up with clothes. He slammed the drawers and stomped around the room still screaming. And my mother was still crying.

"You're worthless! I don't know why I ever got involved with you! You disgust me!" He sneered. He started leaving the room. My mother shot up and ran over to him.

"I'm sorry, Chris! Please!" She tugged on his shirt sleeve. He shoved her, causing her to stumble backwards. She came after him again.

"Please, Chris! Please stay!" Why does she keep apologizing? I thought.

"Stop it, Dana! It's too late for all of that!" He swung the door open and stared at me.

He kissed my forehead. He looked behind me and crouched down to Reyna and Remi who followed me out of their rooms. He kissed their foreheads.

My mother kept screaming after him and begging him to stay. I was so confused. I didn't know what was going on. I didn't know why they were screaming fussing at each other.

I've never seen them like this. I never seen them arguing. So that was new to me. And I didn't know what to do or how to stop all the yelling.

"Chris! Chris! Don't leave us! Please, Chris!" She got on her knees and started begging.

He grabbed his suitcase and went down the steps. Reyna and Remi were shaking and crying. They kept asking me what was wrong and I didn't know what to tell them.

I told them to stay put and followed my mother and father downstairs.

I watched him leaving the door and going to his car.

I ran behind him. "Daddy! Where are you going? What's going on?" I asked. Tears spilled over my face.

He just looked at me and didn't answer. He started up the engine of his car.

"Daddy! Where are you going?" I yelled over and over again.

I cried as I watched his car inch out of perspective. My mother's and sister's cries mixed in with mine.

My body was shaking as snow started to fall. I stood there in the cold and cried my eyes out. I couldn't understand back then what was going on. Now I do.

He left us.

Although I didn't know why, I was still angry with him. I resented him. I hated him.

I used to love my daddy. Reyna, Remi and I were daddy's little girls. We adored him. We looked up to him.

And he left us. His daughters.

I didn't know where he was or what he was doing for his life. I wish he was still here. I wish I still had a father. If not for me, for my sisters. They deserve it.

After he left, my mother withdrew from us. She didn't pay us any attention. She didn't seem to care for us much. She partied, got drunk and hung out at clubs every single weekend.

I was taking care of my sisters way before my mother was diagnosed. I felt like their mother, other than their oldest sister.

I love my mother, even through her wrongs and for abandoning us. She was all we had. And now she was gone.

Gone forever. My love, my heart, my dearest mother. Gone forever.

I wipe the tears out of my sister's face and hug them tightly. Now I was all they had. And they were all I had.

Here, standing in the cemetery, watching my mother's casket lower into the ground, I promised them and myself that I will never abandoned them. That I will always be there and take care of them and I promised them I will never let them feel pain this strong ever again.

~~~

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