Hello, love. It's me.
The acquaintance from afar that kept an eye on you. The acquaintance that took a bit of time to see who you are and why they should love you. The acquaintance that wants to see you again.
It's me.
I can't stop from wandering my eyes to your face, with braces that make your mouth shine, and tanned cappuccino skin that seemed to be smeared at your cheeks. Your perfectly straight, brown hair is usually down but has black and blonde highlights throughout, still in a chocolatey matter. You say that glasses are ugly, (Of course you cleared up the fact that I don't look ugly in glasses.) but I swear on red velvet the cake, fabric, and band that you look adorable in them.
Why should I hold back from telling you? You are such an open-minded person, and would understand, right? But It'll go out to all your "friends" and I'll forever be known as an assaulter in their eyes.
Perhaps it's better that way, because my feelings can't be reciprocated.
Because you refuse to even say LGBTQ+ terms.
Because you are gorgeous and loved while I am not.
You tell me that you trust me for schoolwork. You tell me honestly that you're diva friends are fake. You tell me that my jokes are funny.
You did.
No one else.
Isn't it weird, that when you feel down, I'm one of the only ones that can make you feel better? I try hard because you laughter sounds like k-pop to my ears. Loud and genuine.
My heart ached when I see you giggling and talking to the guy, my heart ached when I found out you were dating the guy, my heart ached when I found out you loved him.
I wish I could have called you
sweetheart,
and love,
and babe,
and ----, your nickname...
And never let go of your hand, know why you were sad and talk about it, feel protected, have my first relationship...
But I respect the distance in our friendship and go back to listening to The Truth Untold.
And I know that your warmth is all real, I want to hold your hand....
.....
But my fate is, don't smile to me, light on me, since I can't go to you, I have no name you can call....
.....
But I still want you.
With love,
Your friend that's secretly queer.
