Reaper x Reader - Don't Fear

(A/N: This is a reader-insert written in the first-person instead of second-person point of view.)

(Enjoy~ <3)

Day 734 on board with Talon

Had another close call today. Both on a mission, and with keeping my innermost feelings in check.

I began to write my thoughts about the day in my journal. I found that keeping a record of the day's events and writing how I thought and felt about them helped me to remember things better, and gave myself the feeling of having my own personal confidant. It's not like I had that many people here to talk to about my internal feelings and turmoil with.
    
Doomfist was the leader of the organization and had no time or cares to worry about me that much, and Moira kind of gave me the creeps. Widowmaker was a cool chick, but she's not exactly emotional or sensitive, so she probably wouldn't understand much of what I tried to tell her, let alone care. Sombra was cool too, and we got along pretty well, but I couldn't trust her to keep secrets.
    
Reaper was a different story altogether. We didn't start off that close at all, what with our personalities being polar opposites and him not being much of the social type, but we started getting along better and finding more things in common as I put forth the effort of talking to him, and he, in turn, opened up to me.
    
We would meet up every other night or so under the pale light of the moon at our secret place, a hidden balcony attached to the Talon base that only he and I knew about, where we would escape to on our restless, sleepless nights and just talk, about anything and everything. He knew just about everything there was to know about me, and I felt that there was so much more to know about him, considering he was much older than me, and he told me things about himself, little by little. I grew more fascinated and intrigued with him by the minute, and the feelings I harbored for him did too. Which is exactly why I have a diary, and why I was writing in it now, to tell it the one thing that I could never possibly express to him: I loved him. Truly, madly, deeply, loved him. Something he would never understand, and think I was bat-shit crazy for even feeling the way I did. At least, that's what I thought...

Not only did I narrowly dodge a bullet from an enemy sniper (my stealth wasn't 100% today for obvious reasons), but I also nearly gave myself away...how I managed to slide my way out of it, I still don't know, but I'm sure he knows something's up by now. He's smart and insightful, just two of the things that I love about him...I could go on, but I'd need an entirely new journal for that.

I paused in my writing, my mind reminiscing of today's embarrassing event...

"...And that's how this mission is going to play out. Any questions?"
    
Sombra raised her hand, a playful smirk on her face. "I got one, Gabe."
    
"I've already told you not to call me that. Now what is it?"
    
"Are you familiar with My Chemical Romance? 'Cause your outfit looks like you're about to welcome these people to the Black Parade."
    
"...I'll resist the urge to kill you where you sit. You're lucky your hacking skills are essential for this mission. Now, get your head out of your ass and focus on the plan."
    
"Uhh, does that go for all of us, or just me? 'Cause, (Y/N) over here," She gestured to her left with her thumb. "Seems focused on anything but." She giggled, finding amusement in my dazed expression while Widowmaker eyed me suspiciously from my left.
    
I was staring not directly at him, but in Reaper's general direction, a dreamy, far away look on my face, and a smile to match, my fists supporting my head from under both sides of my jaw. I was listening for the most part, but my heart and mind just kind of drifted away after a bit, lost in the sound of his voice. It was pretty hypnotic when he wasn't trying to sound angry or intimidating.
    
Reaper sighed, frustration evident in his tone, which was lost on me at the time, for my mind was elsewhere, as Sombra said. "(Y/N). Were you listening to anything I just said?" When he received no verbal response, he growled and got right up in my face, his mask at eye-level with me and only inches away. "(Y/N)!"
    
I blinked rapidly and jumped in my seat at the cold, metallic table, his voice startling me out of whatever fantasy I was having at the time. "Yes sir?!"
    
"I see you're with us. Repeat back to me what your role in today's mission is, or you're going to tell all of us what you were thinking that was so damn important."
    
My eyes widened, and I gulped in fear. There was absolutely no way he could know what I was thinking, let alone my other two teammates. I would be mortified, and probably lock myself away in my room for the rest of my life. So, I went with my gut and chose the position I usually went with on missions. "Ummm...I'll be going for stealth and support once again. My job is to help quickly and quietly 'silence' the enemy, by whatever means necessary, and come to the aid of my teammates should they sustain any damage and heal them...I think that's the gist of it."
    
He stood back up at his full height and gave me a grunt and nod of approval. "Very good, agent, you can multi-task. You should practice that more on missions. Just don't space out that like that again. It's creepy."
    
My head drooped, and I sighed and nodded. Hearing that from him of all people could put a damper on anyone's spirits and self-confidence. "Y-yes sir..." After that, we boarded the ship and flew off to our destination.