"I'm sorry Jah."
🌻
• The Beginning
-
It starts with Micheal white. Tall, handsome and charming. It's no wonder that Jahseh is enchanted by him, the first day when he stumbles into his morning lectures. Micheal sends him a dazzling smile.
He sends on in return, heart fluttering.
When Jahseh tells stokeley that Micheal has given Jahseh his number, and asked him on a date,Stokeley looks apprehensive.
Stokeley knows Micheal. He knows what he's like. But he doesn't say anything because for the first time in a long time, he sees his best friend smile wide.
🌎
• The Middle Of the Beginning
Micheal treats Jahseh like a prince.
They go on dates, they spend nights in together. Sometimes Jahseh feels a pang of guilt when he cancels plans with Stokeley due to inconvenient timing.
But he's happy.
So Stokeley stays silent.
Micheal is everything Jahseh has ever hoped for in a boyfriend but the strange frown on Stokeley is permanent when he's around.
Stokeley clutches his best friend's hand, tells him to be careful but the stars in Jahseh's eyes tell him that perhaps it's too late.
🌙
• The End of The Beginning
-
Micheal is not permanent.
He drifts apart when he sees the stars in Jahseh's eyes. He looks away, guilty when Jahseh speaks of the future. He hadn't expected it to go this far. Jahseh feels dread. And then numbness, when Stokeley holds him close
Stokeley warns him over and over but Jahseh convinces himself that it's Micheal. Micheal won't leave, he lies to himself.
Until Micheal is holding Jahseh's hand, whispering, "I didn't know you were serious about this,"
But stokeley knows. He's always known.
Stokeley knows what Jahseh had wanted.
So that night, he holds Jahseh close and whispers too. Whispers gentle reassurance and pressed light kisses onto his head.
"You'll be okay," and he thinks that maybe, he will be.
☀️
• The Beginning of the Middle
-
Next comes Omar Pinero, long after he's gotten over Micheal. Omar is smart, cute. He helps Jahseh in his drama class and Jahseh can't help but feel the same feeling he did with Micheal.
So he lets Omar walk him back home.
Stokeley doesn't like him either but Stokeley is always skeptical after what happened with Micheal. So he watches quietly as Omar and Jahseh laugh together at the doorstep.
And then he walks back into his room, let's his own heart ache. Anything for Jahseh.
⭐️
• The Middle of the Middle
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Omar allows Jahseh to be his. He lets Jahseh hold him at night, he pushes himself into him and kisses him right. He believes Omar will be the one. This time.
And Omar acts like it too. So he doesn't think the fall will come.
Stokeley watches silent, as Jahseh gives his heat away once again because he knows something Jahseh doesn't. He knows something about Omar. He's heard many things.
