i never wanted to have experienced that kind of pain and i'm sure you'd just spit out some sympathetic bullshit if i told you but you know what where would i be right now if i hadn't been on the edge those days what would i be doing today if i hadn't ever picked up that blade i don't care to be truthful because there is a light at the end of the tunnel and i decided i want to be an optimist today so i will thank my pain for now and ignore that some days i wish more than anything to be dead
