Heartbreaks?
They kinda became a drug.
Love?
Kinda became a made-up word for me.
Like a word used in fairy tales or in stories of heartbreaks.
You?
You became a nightmare.
Life?
Forgot what that even meant.
Forgot that life was supposed to be lived,
but I just didn't know how, or rather,
I forgot how to.
Put in a nutshell,
I forgot
how to breathe,
how to feel,
how to cry,
how to love,
how it feels to have a beating heart,
what it feels to have your heart beating
for someone else.
How to find a meaning in life.
I became oblivious to life.
I forgot them all.
I became farklempt.
I could feel the loneliness,
deep inside me.
Everywhere around me.
Hurting me in inhuman ways.
I couldn't feel anything but pain.
Heartbreaks became a thing that helped me live,
an addiction.
Living yet dead, can't even walk without crashing.
Now just meandering around
waiting to crash into death.
Hoping to find it soon.
Just yearning to get out this misery,
this melancholy feeling, this affliction,
this despondency.
Sometimes I feel like I deserve this pain.
It's just too much to bear.
I am living....
but am I?
