Jeamus Fan Fic

Shove That Onion Right There

Seamus was scared, to say the least. He was scared to tell James something, but one day we all realise we can't keep certain things a secret anymore. So here Seamus is, in front of James' office, getting ready to tell him the thing.

Seamus raises his closed hand, getting ready to knock on his office door, until the door opens itself, revealing James.

"Are you OK Seamus? I can hear your heavy breathing through this door."

"Yeah, James," Seamus feebly says, before changing his mind and replacing it with, "actually, no, I'm not fine. In fact, I have to tell you something James."

"Say it then, you fgt," teases James, a short laugh happening after.

Seamus sighs. "I want to have sex with you."

"Alright?" questions James. "We have sex often though, I don't know why you're asking."

Seamus pushes James into his office, slamming the door shut with his foot. There's no need to lock it when no one else is there.

"What are you doing, Seamus?"

"The thing is James," Seamus smirks, pushing him against the wall not covered in chalk paint, "I want you to shove this in my ass."

James was about to question him, until Seamus pulls an onion out of his pocket; all he can do is gasp and say, "Seamus, I didn't know you wanted to do the ritual too!"

"You worship Shrek as well? I'm so glad I got you, James." Seamus silently cheers to himself, glad he got a keeper like James; this boy is perfect.

Their clothes magically come off, the magic of Shrek doing their work for them.

Seamus bends over the desk, handing James the onion, spreading his legs. Before James even knows what's happening, he feels his arm move faster than sonic, shoving the onion up Seamus' ass; Shrek's magic always helps with these processes.

"Fuck yeah James, shove the onion right up there," Seamus shouts, thankful no one is in the vicinity of the office building.

"You fucking like that, you slut? Shrek's getting a treat once we visit his swamp," James salaciously whispers into Seamus' ear, shoving the onion up further, causing Seamus to come all over the desk.

Both boys lay on the desk, exhausted as if they yolo'd too hard.

Sparkles go around the desk, onions with wings glitter around the room, and they're lifted into the air a bit, hovering until their surroundings change. The place around them is muddy, almost swamp-like, and it only takes them a few seconds to realise they're in Shrek's swamp.

"You did well, boys," Shrek states, popping up behind their bodies that are laying in the mud.

James had pulled his hand out of Seamus' ass ages ago, wanting to take in the surroundings.

Shrek lifts them both up, taking them inside his wonderful abode. He brings them to his bedroom, laying them down on his own bed, kissing their heads as a form of goodnight.

"Get some rest, boys, we have work to do tomorrow," Shrek says, retreating to another room in the house, letting them both fall asleep with smiles on their faces.

Shrek is love, Shrek is life.