Some stuff about me:)

Just sum stuff

so hi. I'm dylan. As you probably know. This is just a couple thoughts and stuff so enjoy.

I am basically in New York right now. I'm leaving to go to Dallas Texas. When I really just want to go home. (Lacrosse Wisconsin) my brother is there. My whole family is there. I don't want to go to Texas. Because Texas is in my depressing states list. When I was in Texas I hated it. I was so depressed.  I just missed my brother. New York is also on the depressing states list. I just want to go home. But home is not home. My home is my family. But my parents say I can go home. But that means I'd have to live with my grandma. I do not hate my grandma. But we do not mix. She's like my father. My father is a charmer but actually an asshole. My mother is kinda that bitch when you first meet her but when you get to know her she's okay. I've never really got along with my dad except for when I was younger. Around five. But me and my mom were always close until this year. This year my mental health dropped to an all time low. And because of that I push my mom away. Because she never has offered to get me help. She'll just make it worse. This year I also realized I was transgender. A boy trapped in a girls body. I never really told anyone but my mom. She took my dysphoria as a joke. She also told me that when she calls me any other name then my dead name it's a joke. So that's why I don't like my parents. When I pushed my parents away I pulled my brother closer. Then we got split. Like it was an actual fucking joke. He wanted to finish high school in a stable place. I get that. And I decided to trust my parents when they said it wouldn't be the same. Let me tell ya it was the same. I would leave if I had anyone but my grandma to go to. My aunts on both sides of my family has accepted me as transgender. My parents in a way have not. I've taken that very personal because they are my parents. They should love me no matter what. They call me weird or my mother does in fact. When I just wanna be myself. But with jayden(my brother) we always fight. But we got closer as we got older. Because of all the shit we've gone through.
FRIENDS:
I have a boyfriend. He's pretty amazing. We have been talking for 7 months. And dating on and off through those months. We started dating again the 11th oF November 2018. Not to be cheesy but my boyfriend is literally my everything and more. He's the reason I wake up in the morning. He's just the best thing that's happened to me.
Within friends I have a few. I gained most of them of this app called "tiktok". I'm so grateful for the app being around due to me meeting some amazing people. And all of the support I get on the app. I have a group chat called "the local gay kids🏳️‍🌈✨" hands down best friends anyone could want. They are caring. Kind. Funny. And somewhat responsible. And they have changed my life for the better including my boyfriend, I've lost some friends but I mean everyone loses at least some people. I've had multiple fights and things with people that are now not in my life. But I've learned that I'm not a total jerk. I can be tho. I'm just trying to stick with the amazing people that I have atm and I'm gonna try to stick it out with them. Shout out to them😂 but I've learned a lot. I've learned how ignorant people are. And how many ignorant people are in my life. I'm just a small boy trying to figure his life out in this big ass world. I'm actually not that small but I consider to be small compared to my brother. He's about 6'2 I'm 5'6- Ish.
(MAY BE TRIGGERING)

LetS go back into grade school and how I had to deal with it.
So I was a big person. I had a lot of extra weight. I've lost A lot of it. Mainly from loss of appetite. And just not eating in a whole. I don't know if I'm technically staving myself or not. But when I was in elementary school I never once had a boyfriend or girlfriend. My first kiss was a girl tho. And most of the cis males in elementary school are jerks or disgusting. I got rejected multiple times
.(TRIGGERING:SELF HARM) About 5th grade was the first time I inflicted self harm. I've carried that with me unfortunately. Probably one of the stupidest things I've done. Because self harm is a hole. A hole that's hard to come out of. I can be clean for awhile then one day will be shitty so I end up relapsing. Or I'll miss my brother and relapse. I hid my relapsing in elementary school. But now I don't. I don't care if my parents know. They don't necessarily ever try to stop me. My mom just says "please don't try to kill yourself" before I get into the shower. And if you've beaten self harm and your out of it I want to say congratulations. You are strong. And you can do anything. And if you self harm you are also strong you just don't know it yet. Everyone tends to disregard me because of age. And that should probably stop. Due to bullying and stuff like that self harm is wide spread but it's going into younger generations. And that's something we need to work on. Because face it America we aren't gonna be able to stop bullying. Y'all need to realize bullying has and will probably always be around sadly. I'm just terrified for our future. Genuinely scared.

THINGS I LIKE:
-My boyfriend hehe.
-My friends./some family
-Rainy/snowy days.
-Being alone but not feeling lonely.
-Water falls.
-Hockey
-Fall
-Singing:)
-My future scares and interest me. Because I'm sure I'm not gonna make it to the age of 19.

DISLIKES
-special snowflakes
-chandler LMFAO
-wannabe badasses
-Star Wars
-my dad
-being in public.
-I annoy myself so like YEr
-just anyone who fakes something serious (examples: ED,self harm,depression.+)

May be updated:)