A LOVE THAT LASTS

snapchat love

So it was sometime in March 2018, I wasn't having the greatest time, I was so depressed that I had attempted suicide 4 times since the new year, I attempted suicide by taking an overdoes of tablets such as antipsychotics, paracetamol, my antidepressants, I also even slit both of my wrists, and at the time my friend, who can't be named moved in with me, we were proper laddy mates, I used to call him one of my 'boys' as he was my best friend at the time, he had a tinder account because I guess he was so sick of being so lonely, he and a girl started snapchatting each other but this girl called Caitlyn, she didn't really like him, so he asked her to add me on Snapchat which she did, I got back from the hospital after my last overdose, my friend told me to check snapchat and when I did, I had a new person trying to add me, so I added her back and we small talked for a little bit, we talked about stuff like how we were in the same state of mind, she was cutting herself a little bit and was so close to taking the step into trying to end her own life which was so sad for me to be hearing, we started video chatting after a few days and that's when I thought I really do like this girl but I honestly thought I'd never in a million years have a chance to be with her, we did so many goofy things on camera, pulling faces at each other, just trying to make each other laugh and she did make me laugh, I laughed like I'd never laughed before we spoke for hours upon hours on the phone and it felt amazing I never even imagined being able to talk to someone so comfortably than I did with her, we spoke a little bit over texts because of how nervous we were about talking about how we felt, we both said we were both really into each other, but I failed to mention that I'm transgender female to male pre everything, so one day she texted me asking if she could ask a question, which I replied sure what's up, then she asked if it was true I was transgender and I said yes is that a problem, which she explained she Is straight and that she doesn't normally go for girls or people like me, which scared the life out of me because I really liked this girl, like alot, she made me so happy and to be honest I thought oh shit this is all over, I'm going to be sad once again, a million thoughts rushed through my head, then another message came through, which silenced all the negative thoughts, she said I don't care if you're transgender, you're still you and I like you, which put a smile on my face from ear to ear kind of like a Cheshire cat, which I replied I really like you too, about a week into us talking, it was my youngest sisters 17th birthday in which I met a different girl, we had some vodka and some other alchoholic beverages, we was both sat on a mattress on the floor, in my bed room, it's a cold rectangle shaped room, with graffiti written on the walls from the last tenents who lived here, we got a little to drunk and that's when the girl kissed me, I wasn't really into her, but I didn't care because of how intoxicated I was, we slept together, I don't recall much of the night, the next day I woke up with her in my bed we were both in our birthday suits, she woke up about 2 mins after I did and told me she loved me, I didn't say nothing back but got some clothes on and wandered down the hall to the bathroom to throw up, she had been on my phone and posted some pictures on my snapchat story, saying how she was my girl and that we were in love, about an hour later, I got a snapchat of caity saying how she hopes that I am happy with her and that we have a good life, i didn't really say much back because of how guilty I felt, I also didn't say anything to the other girl, let's call her V, so V had no idea on what was going on in my head as I was avoiding her at all costs, I really didn't like her at this point as she was telling me to delete snapchat, facebook, and any other social media account, I didn't delete them, then the day after I told caity of my predicament that I had gotten myself into which she told me I needed to tell the truth to V, so an hour or two later I told her I couldn't be with her as I didn't feel the same way and I really liked another girl that I had been speaking to, she started making me out to be a bad guy and somehow, convinced my mum to let her move in to my house, in which she did, then proceeded to sexually harass me by touching my butt, kicking me and continuously flirt with me I told caity about it and she suggested that I told her that I had a new girlfriend, which I replied being the smooth gentleman that I am, can you be my new girlfriend ;), and she said yes, so I told V that which she didn't like and she kept staring at me winking at me, wearing really skimpy clothing in an attempt to sway me in her direction, which I didn't do, instead I video chatted my girlfriend every moment of the day, just to get V to leave me alone, which it worked and honestly I enjoyed talking to Caitlyn so much I felt something had grown between us, i kept almost telling her that I loved her, until one day she told me she loved me which made me so happy and proud to be in love with someone who loved me back

End of first chapter in this story