Random fucking thoughts

27/11/18

Sometimes I just want to pause.
No sound, no sight, just me.
Because sometimes people can be SO tiring,
They don't even have to say something.
Just the thought of someone being close to you,
To have eyes unintentionally watching you.
To unintentionally try to please those eyes.
It gets tiring, so fucking tiring.
But at the same time,
I don't want to be all alone.
I don't trust myself with just me.
My thoughts,
My everything.
Because when the eyes of other people aren't on me,
My eyes are on me.
And my eyes are so much more demanding than those of the people surrounding me.
Because even if I'm all alone,
I'm still thinking about how I'm not good enough,
Always too much.
Too quirky, to silent.
And I always set up this " I don't care" image
But I do care.
I care too much.
And just reading all this shit I just wrote,
Makes me realize,
That I'm never going to be content with the person I am.
And that irritates me so much.

- Y