The Bumpy Road Less Travelled

Where I Have Been

Hey, my lovely readers! It is nice to see you again. I know, I know. I will get back to the previous fanfictions but I feel as if you deserve to know why they were on hiatus like yours truly. I did not die, though I wanted to along the way. When I first started writing those stories, that I WILL continue, I was a Junior in High School. Now, I am a Junior in College. I have sporadically updated depending on my mood, but first you need to know what the heck has happened. 

First, graduating high school, awesome! Loved it. Got to college and stepped a little out of my shell. I am still not sure if that caused a few events or because I still had a shell. My shell is much more of an actual protective layering than it is a true shy persona like some people I know. Senior year of high school started out pretty good, then I found out my Aunt was diagnosed with cancer. Fast forward and freshman year of college was a bit different for me but I managed through it all. Looking back, the beginning was good, but now comes the fun part and I do not remember if I mentioned it in one of my fanfictions. 

So, this incident was a bit earth-shattering for me because I used to be such an absolute brick wall that no bomb could crumble. I play softball at my university and from a child to now, I was raised and still believe in sisters on the field and family when you need it when it comes to teammates. A few of my older teammates and some younger ones, along with another sport, decided it would be a good idea to try and get me drunk and in bed with one of the boys on the other team that liked me. My social media was harassed and another of my teammates found out before I did. That night, that teammate helped me block those trying to bother me. The next morning we had to get up early because we had a team punishment due to one of our teammates posting themselves with alcohol on their social media. The only older girls who were not in on it approached me and asked me if I was okay. I did not understand and was confused the night before as well. 

After the punishment, they told me to come to their room and they gave me all the details. It sucked. There was a bet, my teammates betrayed me, and I had done nothing to them to deserve such treatment. I kept to myself, I was nice on and off the field and during practices, and though we did not hang out, we got along swimmingly. They wanted about ten dollars from each person and already had $300 by the time we had a team meeting about it later on that day. Safe to say, it didn't happen again and nobody brought it up after that. 

During that season in the spring for our sport, my cousin, his wife's father, and my Aunt died and I was only able to make one viewing and no funerals. Consoling my mother was hard and I have long stopped crying over death. That summer, my dad had to have heart surgery and now my mom is taking medicine for high blood pressure. 

Every year I have attended this school, at least five people I know have died in my family. And not only that, my dad's side does not enjoy my immediate family because my father married my mother 28 years ago. Still haven't really gotten over it apparently. 

Sophomore year was not as bad, but another incident occurred. My teammates were at it again and taking pictures and recording videos of me when I was unconscious in our hotel rooms while we traveled during season and posting it without permission. Normally it would not mean so much to me because, you know, everybody does it all the time, but when they do certain things to the footage, it violates other laws. 

The funny part is, I never reported it because I was worried that if someone important found out, then I would lose the passion I had for my sport and the scholarship that helps put me through school. I did want to report what happened freshman year, but I didn't want to risk it either. And I did not want to take away those things for the girls who did not know and did not deserve that either. 

Other than a bunch of other stuff like that, college is just time-consuming and so is my summer job. 

But, life has its ups and downs. Sure. I used to be depressed, still have low periods every once in a while but not very often now. Found ways to make myself better, made friends, and even though I do keep to myself, a lot of my teammates come to me knowing I won't breathe a word of what they tell me. Because no one else needs to know if it is not their place. 

One of the girls that is not necessarily my friend but I get along pretty well with came to me for that very reason. Asked if I would go out and eat with her because she was sick of the food at the cafeteria and was tired of being alone as well. We went, ate food, laughed about a bunch of stuff, came back and she was so happy. 

Being the reason someone smiles is a great thing to experience. 

I truly despise some things about people, but you can't judge the whole because of one little thing. 

Life sucks. A lot. But you cannot have that attitude. It is okay to have those thoughts and have those days as long as you can have the better days so much more often. 

So, here's some advice: Live healthy and happy and life will seem that much more worth living. 

I didn't want to live for a while, but now I am glad I am still here. 

Another reason I did not want to write a lot while in this mood was because although I am good at faking it, it would have bled into my stories and it would not have been fair to anyone if I had forced them to feel what I was feeling. Now that I am in a better place, I will start updating again. 

Hope everyone has been well and as for those people I have not answered yet in my inbox, it might take some time. Those of you who have asked me to read your stories, I did read them and though I did not comment, that does not mean a thing. I read them, I enjoy reading, and I'll always encourage you. Because writing is not just an escape, it is a whole world that has a lot of territory left unexplored. Maybe I will see you there, maybe I won't but the reading world is so much bigger, so we'll meet. 

I'm out for the night, my lovely readers!