1
The flight was over soon enough. I arrived in Bacolod-Silay airport in the wee hours of six a.m. The first line of action I did for today was to cleanse my face, so I could freshen up before I meet ate Nellie. I was dead beat dahil hindi ako nakatulog sa byahe at halos wala rin akong tulog the night before dahil maaga ang flight ko.
To avoid looking like a zombie, I applied light makeup on my face. Yung sakto lang to get me going. On the way na rin daw kasi si Ate Nellie kaya binilisan ko na ang pag-aayos at naghintay na kagad sa labas para salubungin siya.
The fresh air of the province hit me as soon as I went out of the airport, startling me for a second. Napangiti ako sa salubong n'on sa 'kin dahil ibang-iba ang hangin dito sa nakasanayan ko sa Manila.
Umupo muna ako habang naghihintay. Remembering Shane's consistent reminders, I took a snapshot of myself and recorded a video of the airport, just to give them a glimpse of how it generally looked. I also texted Ate Nellie to tell her where I was.
Her reply was immediate and said she was very near.
Ate Nellie was a special friend to me. She was like an idol to me and my friends in so many ways dahil bukod sa napakagaling niyang writer, magaling din siyang painter. That was on top of her hectic job as a nurse.
Imagine, she could juggle everything without flair. I could never be half as amazing as her, lalo na't nasisingit din niya ang pagta-travel sa schedule niya. That was actually one of the many reasons why I wanted to go to Negros: I wanted to see her and I wanted to experience the places she wrote in her stories.
I received a text from Ate Nellie, saying she was near the entrance. As soon as I saw Roro, her pick-up truck, I perked up and ran over to greet her.
"Ate, I missed you!" I said as I climbed into the passenger's seat. This was actually our second time to meet; the first one was when we organized a social event together, back when we were affiliated with a writing organization.
Ate Nellie smiled at me and pulled out of the curb. "Kanina ka pa ba naghihintay?"
"'Di naman. Kakababa ko lang din halos."
As soon as we hit the road, she said, "Dalhin muna kita sa Duyan. Let's eat breakfast there before we head out to Don Salvador, ha."
"Sure!" I said, all smiles.
The ride to Duyan didn't even take an hour. I was pretty surprised at the vast difference of Negros to Manila. The road was wider here and well-maintained, and the sights—oh, God, the sights! They were simply breathtaking. Miles upon miles of greenery rolled out and planked us from both sides of the road as we cruised along the direction that would eventually lead us to Duyan. Sa sobrang abala ko sa panonood ng paligid, hindi ko namalayan na huminto na pala si Ate Nellie.
We parked somewhere and lightly trekked the rest of the way to Duyan. After we ordered our breakfast and coffee, I made sure to take photos, lots of it, and videos before I eased into a conversation with Ate.
I breathed in, the breeze lightly ruffling my hair as the morning sun bore down on us. "Grabe. I think I'm in love. Parang ayoko nang umuwi. Now I know why you don't wanna move to the metro."
"Sinabi mo pa. Iba dito. You get to enjoy nature everyday without worrying about the traffic and the nitty gritty consequences of living in the city. Dito ka na lang kasi. I'll hook you up with one of my friends. Ano ba ang gusto mo, haciendero?" she said, laughing, mirth dancing in her eyes.
"Ugh! Not you too!"
Lalo siyang natawa. "Sabi kasi ni Shane ginugulo ka na raw ng mga tito mo. I know someone, just say so. Five days ka naman dito, di ba?"
"Oh, Ate. I'm not interested in dating. Alam mo naman 'yon. I'd rather focus on my work and my adventures kesa I waste time on meaningless relationships."
"The fact that you're calling it meaningless only tells me you haven't met the right guy who'll prove you wrong just yet. Sige nga, humor me. Bakit ba against na against ka sa commitment?"
"I just don't think I'm wired for it, you feel me? I'm terrified of the idea of losing myself to someone else. I hate the feeling of not being in control."
"You don't have to lose yourself. The right guy won't need you to," Ate Nellie said knowingly. "I think you can do it. Ang napansin ko sa 'yo, you're into the thrill. That's why you lose the attraction as soon as you find out the guy you like likes you back. Pero sa simula lang 'yan. The moment you find the right one, every moment, every feeling, will count and it will stay. And you won't need to fear your lack of ability to trust men either becaue that guy, kung siya na nga talaga, he'll be the one to earn your trust. Mark my words, Callie. One of these days, you'll meet your match."
"Bahala na, Ate. Kung darating, darating," I said absentmindedly as I blew air into my cup of coffee. I understood her point naman; I just wasn't ready to accept the concept of my having relationship with anyone. I didn't think I'd ever be ready at all.
Right after we finished breakfast, Ate Nellie drove us to Don Salvador. A month prior my trip, I booked for an overnight stay at Jomax Peak. Hanggang lunch lang doon si Ate Nellie dahil kailangan niyang umuwi para sa shift niya.
While we were on the way, we stopped by for a few minutes to take photos in an enclosed pine tree plantation. Even had that mandatory daredevil shot on the winding asphalt. Napilit na rin ako ni Ate na pumanik sa puno kaya dagdag na 'yon sa mga bagong experiences ko.
Then before I knew it, we were on the road again. While I was taking the shots, she gave me directions which ride I should take para makapunta ako sa city proper kinabukasan. They were simple enough kaya sabi niya, kakayanin ko naman. I didn't let on that I was already feeling very anxious as early as now kahit wala pa kami ro'n.
"First time mong magba-bus mag-isa, di ba?" tanong niya nang bumaba kami sa Cafe La Guada para tingnan ang view.
Tumango ako.
Lumawak ang ngiti niya. "Text me, ha. Palabas pa lang ako sa shift n'yan pero balitaan mo 'ko. Who knows who you'll meet here in Don Salvador."
Umiling na lang ako at natawa sa pang-aasar niya bago binaling ang atensyon ko sa view. The mountain view was just splendid. Umupo kami sa side ng mga hanging tables para kumain ng lunch, then we were off to the trek to the enchanting river. May mga kasabay kaming grupo papunta doon. At some point, tinuro nga ni Ate yung group of guys na mukhang galing din sa Manila. They were a cute bunch, but I didn't want to make things awkward, so I refused to look at them.
We stayed there for an hour or so, just playing by the river, bago kami nagpatuyo at nagpunta na sa Jomax Peak. This time, iilang mga tao na lang ang mga nakita ko doon na nakasama rin namin sa ilog. Some of them probably stayed behind in La Guada.
Ate Nellie accompanied me for a few more hours, telling me tales of her experiences here in Negros and why she never bothered going to Manila to live there. Her simplicity and love for her home encouraged me to push through with my itinerary and quelled my uneasiness and anxiety.
That was, until she left me for work. When I was finally alone inside my tent, simmering in my own thoughts, that was when reality sank in.
Up until that point kasi, everything felt like a pastel-colored dream, but then the gravity of what I did started to fall into pieces in my head.
Oh, shit.
Totoo na talaga 'to. I was really all alone, in a province very far from the comforts of my home, away from the help of my friends, prone to everything that could go wrong in this trip.
For the first time in my life, I was spending the night outside the city all alone.
This was no doubt going to be the longest night of my life.
