The Demon's Accidentally Published Proposal

Part 1

You told me from the start that you couldn't love.

But still my heart yearned for some response.

My hand reached out in the dark, hoping to touch you.

But only emptiness was there to meet it.

I danced around the fiery pentagram, chanting in Latin while dripping blood from a small cut on my finger into the center of the drawing made of grave dirt and bone, all the while keeping an eye out on the clock on the mantel.

I only had 15 minutes before my casserole was done.

Finishing the chant with the ease of years of practice, I leaned back to avoid the plume of Hellfire that spewed from the portal that opened up. Changing out of my ceremonial robes, I got back into my comfy pajamas and checked on my casserole while the new arrival was settling in.

She stood about eight feet tall, her head brushing the light fixture on the ceiling in my living room. Her four arms ended in long claws that dripped venom, making me glad that I thought to put a stain resistant rubber mat underneath the summoning circle. Her eyes burned with the flames of Hell, the fire that continuously lived within her, the source of her power. She grinned at me when I walked in with a bowl of my freshly made casserole, showing rows upon rows of pointed teeth.

"Hey Kara, is there any casserole left for me?"

I waved with my spoon before sitting down to dig into my meal.

"Hey Baph, help yourself, it's in the kitchen. I couldn't remember whether or not Satan still had you on the meat ban so left side is vegetarian."

"Nah he forgot all about that six months ago."

"Probably shouldn't scare the tourists by pretending to be him next time though."

Baphotera, the sixth highest lieutenant in Hell, sat down across from me, laughing as she began to eat the casserole as well.

"Yeah, but it was too funny showing up at a Satanist meeting and telling them to "Go out and do good deeds." She shook her head. "They were so confused!"

"Yeah, and Satan was pissed."

"Ugh, I had to be a vegetarian for a year, don't remind me." She chewed the pasta with obvious relish. "Either way, Kara, I'm sure you didn't summon me to help you eat your dinner, much as I appreciate the home-cooked meal. What's going on?"

I stared down at my bowl, a little unsure of how to begin. "So... your brother may be a little pissed at me come tomorrow."

"Valaac?" She cocked her head to the side, confused. "What did you do to piss him off?"

"Well... remember when we stopped talking last year?" She nodded to my question, obviously still confused. "I was really mad... and kind of drunk... and I maybe just sorta..." I paused and spoke out the rest in a quiet rush. "Wrote a book using him as the main character."

Baph laughed loudly, one of her hands slapping her knee. "Okay, that sounds pretty funny, but why..."

"I finished it in the same night, and submitted it to my best friend Alice who's in publishing. She thought it was hilarious that I drunk emailed her a book manuscript, and got the whole dang thing published and only told me today."

"That's... weird... but why would..."

"Look at it." I handed it over to her, shuddering at the picture of a handsome, passionate looking young man with computer drawn devil horns added on that graced the cover. Baph glanced at the picture on the front with a chuckle, and then read the back cover, her green face turning more and more blue and she did.