I'll Sleep When You're Dead ✔️

Fairytales are bunk

When you're young, you always think your life is going to turn out to be a fairytale. Where the guy rides up on a white horse and whisk you away, or at least people tell you. Yeah, okay, who makes up this stuff?

They should have a fairytale where it's realistic like you're going to meet several guys, try to pin one down. Have a wedding where people bicker over what type of arrangement you are having. Deal with in-laws, and you're own crazy family. Follow by children who will set out to drive you completely nuts. Now that's a fairytale.

The one thing I learned is all those stories they tell you, growing up is just adults way of telling you, to fantasize about some weird life, you will never have.

Do you know what you will have? Bills. Lots of bills. Utilities, insurance, food, and anything else life can throw at you as it says bend over junior while it screws you and you don't even get to enjoy it.

People call it disillusioned. I call it harsh reality of those damn fairytales, but I digress.

"Jessica! Where are my boxers?!" Mike yells from upstairs. I quit typing as I sigh.

"Did you check the clean basket?!" I yell back up to him.

"What's a clean basket?!" He yells back down to me.

I drop my head and sigh. The fresh basket where the clothes are clean and folded, yet not having been put away. Then you got the dirty basket where all you separate your clothes into different categories, darks, don't judge, whites, linens, and clothes you don't have any freaking idea how to wash them.

Getting up from the table to help Mike find his boxers, I hear a crash coming from the boy's room. Time for a detour. Mike's clean shorts will have to wait.

I reached the top of the stairs as I hear arguing coming from Kyle's room. Kyle is the oldest of our three boys. He's seventeen. Then you have Jason, the middle child who is sixteen. Rounding up the devil children is Max, who is fifteen.

Yes, I call my adorable children, the devil children for obvious reasons, because at some point they went from being these precious little angels to devils in a matter of minutes. One day they were the apple of our eye and the next the exorcist hit. After that, not a clue what happened. I'm just trying to survive at this point.

I walked into the room to find a broken lamp on the floor and the three boys pointing at each other, "he did it!"

Placing my head in my palm, I shook my head as I told them, "just clean it up then you can pay for the replacement."

"Yes mom," they all agreed in unison. Yes, our boys all have jobs. Kyle works part-time in retail, Jason works at a grocery store, and Max has a paper route. We aren't above making our kids work. Yeah, I know, I'm such a terrible mom.

I'm the kind of mom that is mean and feels their children should be productive in life while maintaining their grades, so when they grow up, they can move out. That's my ultimate goal in life. Just because we have kids doesn't mean we can't make them productive. Money doesn't grow on trees, well I wish it did. It would make life so much easier.

Leaving Kyle's room, I make my way to our bedroom, where I find Mike in a towel. That's a first. He's usually naked.

"Okay, I looked. Not a clue what the hell a clean basket is," he replied.

I walk over to the basket on a chair and pull out a pair of boxer briefs, handing them to him.

"Oh, so that's a clean basket," he said to me.

"Yep, it is," I sighed.

He took the boxers as I turned and left. I went back downstairs and went back to work on the piece I was writing. It was a book to follow up to the previous book I had published, chronicling my life as a wife and mother.

At some point I, figure I will sleep when I'm dead if that ever happens.

Get ready because humor is going to abound as Jessica deals with family life, work-life, and the chaos that ensues. It isn't your typical humor book; it's better.