Okay so hi, this is Hell. Actual real Hell. You know, flames, Satan, the colour red. All those juicy and delightful things that come with the whole Hell package.
But what you didn't know is that Hell itself is actually completely yellow. For all you non-Hellion people out there, it's kinda like walking into an MTN Store but like staying there for eternity. Yeah, I know....Terrifying right? He he... don't do drugs kidz. Oh and to any Hellions reading this, you can skip on ahead to page...uhhhhh let's see here. Page wu... um 18. Page 18, yeah that's right. Anyway I'm all cool with this Hell situation cuz Hell is Gay as fuck. Oh look here comes a gay right now.
*whistles that sexy whistle.
He he he. Gay!
Coby:
I have really hit rock bottom haven't I
And I'm... I'm not gay.
Dude!
It doesn't get worse than this. It doesn't!... It doesn't!...
Fight me!
Felisha the succubus: ohhhhhh Coby!
Whaaaat? It got worse? Shockerrr.
Felisha: Coooby! Coooby!... Cooooooby!
Coby: Yes Felisha!
Felisha: I was just wondering how you were doing
Coby: I'm doing fine Felisha
Felisha: You don't look fine
Coby: I'm! Fine! Felisha! Your dude Satan keeps hitting on me.
Felisha: oh he's just horny....
speaking of horny
Coby:
Felisha:
Coby: I'm done with this conversation now
Felisha: oh come on
Coby: bye Felisha
Felisha: surely you can't be serious
Coby: I am serious, and don't call me Sherly
Felisha: come on you playa
Coby:
Felisha:
Coby: I am a Bisexual not a whore you whore
Felisha: oh Coby you're so funny
Coby: I'm fucking hilarious you whore
Felisha: Oh hey Drake! Draaaake!
Coby: How many times have I said whore in this conversation?
Felisha: Draaaaaaaake!
Coby: Bye Felisha
Thank you Drake you beautiful boy, I owe you the world and... do I smell cotton candy? I do, I do, I do, I do, I do. Where is it? It's so close I can almost taste it.
Some random dude: Hey bro, you like my new deodorant?
Coby: I'm not you're bro!
Wait a minute. I take a big sniff, burning hot corpses, burning hot living corpses, burning hot Doritos and...cotton candy.... right behind me.
I look at him.
Some random dude: it's called pink sugar. It smells like cotton candy right?
Coby: Riggghhht... interesting
I turn away again. Hold it!
I glance back. OH MA GOD.
He's beautiful!
His glassy black eyes reflecting those corpses I was talking about earlier. His ashy, dry lips, I can be your chapstick baby. I have this friend who has like five in her pockets at all times so I got you.
As he runs his hand through his hair, oh his hair, as smooth as a salad one could even say. Perfection!
The love of my life: Hey I don't think we've met I'm Jessie and I go by gho/ghos pronouns.
....
Coby: Well shit!
YOU ARE READING
Actual Hell
HumorA story that follows Coby, a citizen of Hell. Satan begins the story off With a bit of insight
