I'm in love with my gay bestfriend

I was not loved!

"I woke up, it was 2:30 a.m. Every time I sleep, I woke up past midnight. I can't sleep. Everything is bothering me. Oh, God. Why is this feeling for him torments me everytime I'm alone. Please, make this feeling go away." she silently prayed but, nothing changes. While looking at the stars through her window, the countless shinning like the diamonds look happy as they look down on the surface of the Earth. "Please God, I still believe that you exist. Please make everything get well soon."

"Just yesterday, I thought that we are going to be alright with this friend of mine. His name is Karl. I used to be his buddy, then suddenly he change so much. He never wanted to talk to me or look at me. If I could only know what have I done to make him go far away from me then I would do anything just to correct that one mistake. I feel so bad, and it's as if my world is going to collapse soon," her words fills the silence of the night as heavy tears roll at her cheeks, the coldness of the night as she sits in her bed makes her shiver. Her heart being wounded with this endless thoughts about him. He is killing her heart slowly.

"What should I do? Preliminary board exam of accountancy students is fast approaching, and I'm still here stuck in this thought of how to mend the broken friendship. I wanted to talk to him so badly and ask what went wrong. The thing is he never look at me anymore, neither do he talks to me. Yes, I am indeed jealous when he talks to other people and never talks to me. It hurts me so bad."

It's already 5 a.m. and Carissa still can't sleep. "I am already fustrated. Did he loves me like I love him so much? Why does this bothers me? Do I fell in love with my bestfiend and that's why he never talks to me?" all she could do is cry with the idea and confusion that is messing her thought.

As she tucked her pillows, she hugged them to comfort herself. It was like as if the whole world never cared and left her alone as she drifted away with her thoughts in the darkness of the night.

Beeeep, beeeeeppp.

"Oh, creep. It's already 7:14. I have to hurry to make it at 8 a.m. for school."

"Great, I still have to iron my uniform. Dumb, why can't I just did it the night before!"

Hurriedly she went to the bathroom. After 5 minutes, just a quick shower will do, then she packed her things. She went downstairs to the canteen just below her dormitory.

It is as usual that she eats alone. She got friends, but none is like other than this guy named Karl. She was her bestfriend. As she eats her breakfast, slowly her thoughts drifted again. It was depressing to think about being invisible and being ignored by him.  It's like some higher kind of toture and bully at the same time. Carissa can hardly swallow her food as she spooned it from her plate.

The time is running and she noticed it so late that it's already 8:30 a.m., while her class starts at 8 with the Auditing theory subject. She then hurried to her room, and went to the sink to brush her teeth.

"Why am I going to brush my teeth when in fact nobody is even talking to me, all of my friends are busy and none of them might be talking to me," she smirk while cleaning her teeth. The mischeivous thought drifted her away again. Then a snap and she's back to reality as she hurriedly went downstairs again and out to the busy street where she walks just a few step towards her college schooll.

"I really hate it, if I'm hurrying and there is always a security check for bags, then I still have to tap my I.D. at the gate pass," she murmured. It really takes about a minute to all of that and another minute to walk upstairs just to get at her classroom situated at the second floor.