Skinny Dippin' Almost

"I didn't even know what a bathin' suit was 'til I was seventeen."

That's what Lee's old man says. He's one of the richest guys in Biloxi seems like, big-time car dealer, the richest dude I ever met for sure, in person at least, which makes Lee one of the richest kids in town. You can read all about it in the New Revised Standard version of Biloxi, Book of Gobbledygook, you know, Leonard begat Chevrolet, Chevrolet begat Cadillac, Cadillac begat Lee—I'm just shittin' you. I know, I got a strange sense of humor, people tell me that all the time. Lee's named for General Robert E. Lee, that's what he says, I guess it's true,, but the Lee I'm talkin' 'bout is six feet tall and weighs one pound. He's popular at school, chicks love him, skinny dick and all. I took to him right away when my folks moved us here from Hattiesburg. I was in middle school. Not a very big move, I liked Hattiesburg better, I missed my friends and all, but I made friends with Lee right away. Laughs and good times seem to ooze from him like sweat out of other people. I guess his dirty jokes would be like B.O. No shit.

Lee's father was begat from a couple of other Leonards. My old man thinks there's Jewish blood in there somewhere. That ain't bad, just sayin'. Lee has an older brother named Leonard too, they call him Lenny, he's up at Ole Miss, a real brain. He'll take over the car business. Maybe Lee'll be cut out of the family fortune like those European kings and the second-born sons they begat. They don't mean nothin', much less the daughters they begat. Well, okay, those later kids counted if the first-born ones were murdered like on TV, that Game of Thrones shit. Lee and I talked about it at the beginning of summer. We were stoned. It seemed to bother him so it bothered me. He's a pretty cool dude to have for a friend. Not a bromance, nothin' like that. I hate that term. Actually, I guess it is. Don't tell anyone I said that.

Lee's father, Leonard the fourteenth or some shit, they call him Len, is a pretty cool dude for an old guy. He knows Brenda Venus personally—he's got a signed picture of her in his office, big tits and all, Biloxi's finest pair as they say. He was nice the first time I met him, which was surprising 'cause my old man hates him. My old man bought a car from Castle Cars, that's the name of his dealership, no shit, not a new car but almost a new one, a Ford Ranger. It was nothing but trouble. He sold it to a black guy, took a beatin' on it and that was that. He drives a Toyota pickup now. He swears by the damn thing.

But that's not what I wanted to talk about. I wanted to tell you about these two girls from Shreveport we met earlier this afternoon. They said they were eighteen, so we told them we were eighteen too. When everybody's lyin' that makes it the truth, just like what Mr. Miller said in Algebra One about two negatives make a positive or some shit, you know, -2 times -2 is positive 4. I'm pretty sure it is. Hell, I don't have to think about that shit for another six weeks. But I'm off topic as they say. We met these girls downtown not far from the Beau Rivage—one of their fathers was in town on business or some shit. They were staying there and bored out of their minds they said, hard to believe as hot as they were, and that's a nice place, but that's what they told us. I've only been in the Beau Rivage once. Lee had to deliver a package to a guy downtown, probably a box full of money to some politician, I didn't ask, but there they were, standing on Howard waiting for the light to change. Lee started talkin' to them, Howard's a one-way street, so it was like they were inside the car with us, they were that close. Lee said some funny shit, I gotta say. I don't remember any of it. The light changed, the guy behind us leaned on his horn, a real prick, so I turned around and gave him the finger. Lee laughed and said, "Wait right here, we'll go around the block. We figured they'd run away, I would have if I were a chick, but man, they were still there! Hot too. Small titties, both of 'em, but smokin' hot.

Lauren had to go around the front of the car to get in the front seat. Tight cutoffs, a t-shirt with the word "PINK" in big letters. I saw her sandals when she put her feet up on the dashboard, they were gold and sparkly, really cute feet, but Lee told her she had to put them down.