Like an Abstract

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Prologue

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Stars. So many stars. Littering the vast night sky. It was a beautiful sight to see, yes it is. Those twinkling heavenly bodies; looking so exquisite that it made my sullen form feel a little bit nostalgic.

Even though I was alone, the sight above me made me happy. It made me feel...accompanied.

I roamed my gaze around and studied the interesting looking ones. Those that had been glowing brightly with all their glory.

"Her eyes shone like stars..." mesmerized, I unconsciously wrote the phrase down on my mini notepad that I had been holding for a good twenty minutes staying here at the park. The wind blew gently against my jacket-clad form; sending a shiver down in my already cold body. I didn't flinch, instead I stayed there; sitting as the freezing October wind gave me it's frosty embrace.

I closed my eyes, set the pen down and heaved a sigh.

Ne~ Jaewonie, don't be sad.
I'll always be by your side...
If you're feeling down, I'll give you a flower crown...

Make you happy in the darkest days.
Never leave your side even if everything fades away.

Just remember, I'll always be with you.
In your heart, in your mind.

Protecting you,

Watching you,

Loving you.

Just look up at the sky, you'll see me there.

Among the stars...the brightest one in there.

"Be happy and I'll always be here" I opened my eyes and looked up, above me; shining so beautifully, a star. Not just any star but a special one.

"I missed you, Yeon-in..." I whispered as I continued staring at it. I didn't noticed that a tear was already running down my cheek until I felt it drop down on my hand that has been holding the notepad.

I looked down and saw that the tear landed exactly on the newest phrase I had just written; not too long ago.

I bit my lip, still looking down at the paper.

"Hopeless..." I breathed out before ripping the page from the pad with angry tears escaping my eyes. I crumpled the paper and tossed it away before shaking my head while messing up my hair. My heart was pounding angrily against my chest, my blood was boiling and adrenaline was coursing through my veins.

"Why did I even decide to go out and create a poem at a time like this?!" I flung the pen and notepad away and stomped my foot repeatedly like a kid having tantrums. My hands are balled into fists and the knuckles are turning white because of how tight I was fisting it.

Nothing can describe how much pain I was feeling. No words. No nothing.

It was three years ago and until now, I still felt angry. So angry at myself.

My stomach was caving out as multiple invisible knives started stabbing my heart.

Everytime I closed my eyes, I can hear her voice; speaking.

Everytime I go out, I can see her face everywhere I went.

Everytime I woke up, I felt as if she was still there...beside me.

It seems like she won't leave me alone.
Even though I was trying my best to live the life she had wanted me to.

"How can I be happy now that you're gone?!" it was a bad idea. Going out on my beloved's death anniversary is one hell of a messed up action. It was driving me insane!