My Resolution Is You

What Is A Coincidence

It was New Years again. I'd say that 2018 was a really nice one for me most of the time but nonetheless, it was a mixture of emotions. But wow, the year finally ended and now comes the time for resolutions.

I don't usually make resolutions and when friends ask me what mine are, I usually just give this smug expression which basically means 'What does it even matter'. I never really believed in planning things this much ahead of time, I didn't see a logic to it but, this time was different. I finally had a reason to make a resolution this time and the reason, was to see Pentagon.

I honestly wanted to so bad, that I literally considered exhausting my entire bank account to meet them in South Korea. It's only been a few days after the New Years but I had already started taking note of my expenses and calculating plane fares. There were only a few other things things I had wanted that bad in my life and all that excitement was honestly new to me.

But I was happy throughout the entire process. I prayed to meet them by some chance and luck at one of their activities and frankly, I wasn't expecting it to happen the way it did. I never went outside of the country for anything at all, so I wasn't expecting a trip to Japan even in my wildest dreams. My dad had to shift there for work and knowing how I have always wished to visit the country, my parents made arrangements for me to go stay there for a few days.

I was losing my mind, which was quite understandable but when I heard of the date of my flight, I got depressed quite easily. The reality of everything started hitting me then... I was going too late. Pentagon were just about to end their Japan activities and the day of my flight was their last day of promotion there, not to mention that there were no tickets available to the last show to begin with.

As happy as I was to have this opportunity to visit a place I've always loved, the sadness never really left. But anyhow, I got ready at full speed and looked forward to the entire trip with all my heart. I was definitely not going to sulk while I had this great chance so I was pretty determined to enjoy myself. And so, when I finally set foot for the first time on a foreign country, I couldn't keep my calm. I was smiling from ear to ear and for a second, I honestly forgot about what I missed. I was honestly having a lot of fun and everything looked so beautiful somehow. Even skyscrapers no different from where I live looked special to me then.

But I could've never for told what was about to happen next. It was evening already and my dad and I had settled into our rooms, so we went out to explore the locality more. We were just walking and chatting on the sidewalk when I suddenly noticed a familiar back and a seriously familiar hat. I just stopped where I was and kept staring at the figure far away, trying to see his face but, unfortunately they never turned towards me and walked in the other direction. I thought I was seeing things since deep down, I still wanted to meet Pentagon so badly. So I just thought I was definitely starting to think about it a bit too much and kind of waved the thoughts off, so that I could enjoy the fact of even being their in the first place.

But, would you believe it... I wasn't seeing things, I wasn't thinking about it too much because there he was, sitting in the restaurant my dad and I went to to get dinner. I was seeing Kang Hyunggu with my own eyes, can you even imagine? Can you even imagine what was going on through my head and my heart? I was practically standing still as a statue but my hands kept shaking regardless. I lost track of what was even going on around me before my dad called for me. But he was everything I had imagined - beautiful. Although he fit well with the ambiance of the restaurant, he still somehow stood out amongst the rest.

I had never met an idol up close in my life so I honestly didn't know how to react. He was the only Pentagon member but the manager and other staff members were with him on the same table, eating together. I most certainly didn't have the courage to go up to him and speak in front of everyone and somehow, I didn't want to to be fair. He most probably came to the restaurant to have a nice and quiet dinner in the first place so, I just kept staring at him from time to time like some creepy person.

Yeah, I know. I understood that what I was doing was in no way normal but I knew I might never get a chance to see him that up close in this lifetime so what other choice did I have... that's what I thought to myself then at least. But the more I looked at him, the more his perfection grew on me. He smiled when he spoke, enjoyed his meal with this adorable expression on his face and his eyes were practically beaming. That was the moment when it came back to me... that he is in fact younger than me by a few years. I could see the innocence in him and it made me smile occasionally, even though I was trying hard not to react much in front of my dad.

I did tell him who Hyunggu was and my dad already knew his face from my albums and posters so he was happy that I got to see him there. Words couldn't even express how happy the entire thing made me. But I was brought back to my senses by... none other than Hyunggu. It was just one of those moments I was stealing a glance at him and God Almighty, he looked at me at that exact same moment. I won't call it chance or luck because I kept doing it for a long while so it was bound to happen at least once. But the way I reacted to it was the most awkward thing ever.

I don't think I've ever shifted my head down that fast before and I couldn't even look at his direction anymore. It's not like he knew me or anything so I had no reason to react that way but I felt like I was doing a crime at that moment. After that I just stayed quiet and finished my food and didn't even look anywhere before getting up to pay. My dad was the one who was paying but since the math wasn't adding up with the notes or bills he had, I opened up my purse to pay the remaining amount. But after I handed it to the person at the main desk, a familiar voice came from the side. "Oh? Isn't that...", is what the familiar voice said and my whole body froze.

I didn't even realize Kino was standing next to me before he spoke out. And what was it he reacted to you ask? The picture of Pentagon I keep in my purse. The picture had all of them in it, which is why I kinda kept in my bad for good luck. Turns out, it really does do charms. I got a hold of myself to at least look in his direction and when I saw that smile appear on his face, it was the best thing ever. He continued by saying "Are you a Universe?" and I nodded rather aggressively as a reply. My head was utter chaos but his voice actually seemed to calm me down. Seeing him that up close was even worse for my heart ha ha. But the way he spoke with me was so... normal? Like, it didn't feel like we were worlds apart. It felt like how it would usually feel to just bump into a random person and finding a similar interest.

I never thought I would get through that night without a heart attack but I somehow managed it. He greeted my dad as well and after talking for about five minutes, he left in his car along with the others. Even after a solid ten to fifteen minutes of him leaving, I kept thinking 'Did all that really happen?'. I forgot to ask for a photo and it never really came up in the conversation so, there was literally no proof that I had met him, except for my dad of course. But it didn't matter...

I actually met one of the most talented and humble souls on the planet and he spoke with me so gently, wasn't that more than enough? ... Yes, yes it was. And I could never thank God enough for giving me this opportunity to meet such an exceptional person and actually getting the chance to let him know, how much they all mean to me.