If Only

-PROLOGUE-

Thump-Thump-Thump...

I heard my heart throbbing in my chest as I brisk walked through the city of Busan. All the buildings stood in one neat line, making it a pleasant sight. The lampposts were all dimly lit, making the stars above stand out. The winter breeze blew my dress to my side, leaving my bare legs shivering because of the cold. I heard the clattering of my heels on the pavement as I walked to my destination.

I looked up to see the sky mixed with infinite shades of black and blue, no clouds were in sight and the bright stars lit up the sky. I stayed on the side of the road as I made my way towards the C&R Hotel, my father's company building. Once the building was in sight, I saw the Christmas decorations and fairy lights that were put up. I crossed the busy road where both cars and people were to get to the building that stood out from the others.

I walked into the lobby and smiled sadly looking at the chandelier displayed above. Doesn't that ceiling ever make you want to cry? I wondered. I get lost in my own thoughts telling me the worst things. I hate those voices in my head, that's the only reason I was doing that in the first place. I continue to look down at my feet to avoid eye-contact with people who may know me as 'The famous and rich CEO's daughter'. I sighed and kept my head down.

I passed by a bunch of people dancing to the Christmas music. Everyone was dancing and having a great time, not giving a care of my misery. Tears of heartbreak threatened to fall down my cheeks but I tried to hold it in.

Just like I've always done. Every single time.

As I reached out to press the elevator button,  I took a glance at some people celebrating Christmas with their loved ones. Familys laughing, couples smiling, children playing. I waited a few seconds of my crippling anxiety but I just had to suck it up.

I walked towards the elevator and pressed the button to get it to open. As soon as it did, I walked in and looked down, waiting for it to bring me up. After a few moments, I realized I hadn't pressed the button of the floor I wanted to go to. I pressed the circular one which had the number 86 on it and then went back to looking at the ground, getting lost in my thoughts once again.

The elevator door opened when it reached the highest floor, the floor where I ended it all.

I walked to the edge where I could feel a stronger breeze. I looked down to see cars and people at the bottom. The city really did look beautiful with all the Christmas lights around. I took one last breath and closed my eyes. I then said my last words, "If we were still together, would this have happened?".