When There Was Me and Her

1

"What am I supposed to do, Shannon? Walk away and never turn back to get you? Forget everything we've been through? Newsflash, I am in love with you and, big surprise, I can't live without you!" I scream and quickly shut my mouth as I realize what I had just said. I never told my best friend that I loved her. I had never planned on telling her at all. Let me back up and explain myself.

I'm Jenny. I'm a senior in a conservative, catholic high school, 18 years old, and bisexual, closeted of course. The girl is Shannon. A blonde haired, blue eyed beauty who I get to call my best friend. I knocked into her in the hallway freshman year and we have been inseparable ever since. I have also been, unfortunately, in love with her ever since I laid my deep brown eyes on her. I was a normal kid before high school - good grades, liked the popular boys, played basketball, wrote horrible music. Luckily, I've gotten better with writing since my 5th grade love song to Matthew McMannon. Yeah, that was a rough time considering that fact that he spewed chunks right after I stopped. Something about being "nervous". That relationship never went anywhere. When I got into high school, everything kind of turned upside down. I had always looked at girls and thought about how cute they were, always had small dreams about holding hands and cuddling. About how different it would be to be held by a girl than a boy. You can imagine how hard it must be to go to an all-girl school. However, it's actually not that bad. Well, until I had tripped into Shannon. I apologized endlessly and helped grab her books. I remember how her eyes lit up when she smiled. It made me feel like there was a place for me, who didn't really have that many friends yet. Ever since that day, we would do everything together from lunch to having classes and meeting up together in between the classes that we didn't have together. Luckily, because our last names are close together in the alphabet, we have a decent portion of classes together. Yep, Jenny Kim and Shannon Lane. She gives me hope and makes me feel loved. I hope I can, someday, do the same thing for her. So, let's go to the very beginning.

. . .

"Okay, sweetie, we're here. Have a great day. I love you!" I hear my mom say as I slowly blink and force myself to look at the brick walled building before me. Freshman year, all new people, no friends yet my subconscious reminds me and I shutter at the thought. I was decently like in middle school but, now, it's a whole new environment. All girls, nuns, strict rules. Oh god, I'm gonna throw up I think as I pull my mom in for a tight hug and kiss her on the cheek.

"I love you, mom. I'll text you when we get out of school!" I say and grab my black backpack.

"Hey, you're gonna kill it in there today!" She replies with two big thumbs up and a loving smile. I close the door and walk up to the door of the school. Walk in with your head held high, Jenny. You got this I think and open the door. This is where the next four years of my life starts. I hope what other people say is true. That these four years will be the best of my life. That I'll find my future bridesmaids. Small steps first. Dear God, if you're up there, please send me some friends. I breathe, and walk down the hallway with my head not as high as I originally intended it to be and a small smile laying on my lips.