Insecure

Chapter 1

"Her?! Naw I would never!"

Welp there goes my confidence. I turned on my heels and slowly walked into the girls bathroom. Another rejection, from the same boy I've been trying to get with all year, well all 3 years. I don't understand! I came to school dressed exactly how those other girls do. In our school we're not allowed to wear whatever we want like those cool Detroit Public Schools. I got to a Charter school. We have stupid plaid uniforms, with white button downs and black shoes. Oh and don't you dare forget a tie. You'll get suspended. Today I came in with my uniform on but I gave it a little twist today, you know. I wore a cute short skort that stopped about 2 inches about the knee, a long sleeve white button down, and with our matching plaid tie. I also wore tights, but not just any tights. The kind of tights with the holes that looked like butterflies. I even slapped on some shiny lip gloss. The only thing I didn't have, was perfect skin.

Have you ever heard of Vitiligo? Yeah that's what I don't have, but imagine this: I have white spots all over my skin. Like it looks like someone took white out and poked me with it, a million times, everywhere. I've been to, at least 40 different dermatologist about it, they all told me the same thing. 

"There's nothing I can do for her.." or "We've tried everything."

I'm convinced I'll be this way forever. I looked at myself in the mirror. The dirty bathroom smell filled my nose but I didn't even mind it. I was going to cry in this doo doo filled restroom. I felt the tears coming until I heard someone flush the toilet. I hurried up and wiped them before the stall door opened. It was Cayla. 

"Hey Hydia."

"Hey."

She pushed on the soap dispenser and rubbed her hands together. 

"You uh, you ok?""

I grabbed my bag and rushed out the bathroom.

"I'm fine. I'm just fine."

My name's Hydia Hall. I am a spotty black girl from the east side of Detroit, at least that's what they call me. I've been called every name in the book, oreo, a cheetah, a giraffe and well everything else that has dots. I've had one boyfriend, and that was in the second grade. He even cheated on me with some perfect skinned girl with long hair. It's like no one likes me. I sometimes feel pretty when I wear make up. But my mom always takes and tells me I look better without it. No I don't. No I do not. 

I walked into my class late. Everyone was already sitting down. I tried to hurry up and sit down and pull my notes out. Maybe the teacher won't say anything and keep going. But of course I was wrong.

"LATE Ms. Hall!"

"I had to use the b-"

"You always have to use the bathroom. One more tardy and I'll be calling your parents."

I looked around. Everyone was turned around looking directly at me. In front of the class sat the boy I've had a crush on for 3 years. His name was Victor Jackson. He was looking right at me while smirking. He looks pretty happy for someone who just broke my heart for the 50th time. I, for some reason smiled back. He shook his head turned back to the white board. 

"Ms.Hall!"

"I- Yes! I heard you Ms.Davis."

"Ok. Now open your book to page 187. We are reading chapter 7. Since you like to be a distraction, how about you start reading?"

I snickered.

"Yeah right" I mumbled.

I sat there with my book open in silence. The whole class once again silent and looking right at me.