When Universes Combine

Chapter 1

It was a rough last night. My father, as always, passed out drunk on the couch after a huge fuss with me. It is almost as if what he says to me absolutley means nothing to him because he gets up the next day and without a word, he pours himself a drink. He said some hurtful things to me last night. About how I was a lesbian, how my mother "abandoned" my brother and I, all the bad things she has done and how I was just like her, and more. I'm 19 years old and I am about tired of all the bullshit. I have a job and I have saved up enough to get an apartment and I have a car so it would be easy to run off.
So, that is exactly what I decided to do. I moved out. I hated leaving behind my brother and father but I could not take anymore hurt. I suffer from anxiety and depression. I'm suicidal as hell, I've attempted at least six times.

First time, I tried hanging myself with a scarf. It was unsuccessful because I was, maybe, 13. I didn't tip it over.
Second time, I tried overdosing but I gagged and I projectiled that shit right into the toilet.
Third and fourth time, I tried slitting my wrist(s), did not go deep enough and my father would not quit knocking on the door because he had to piss.
I wanted so badly to say, "there is two bathrooms for a reason! Get the fuck away from me!"
The fifth time, I tried overdosing again but i broke down crying and spit them out because I thought of my brothers, my sister and her kids whom I haven't seen or heard from, and my mother whom I texted behind my father's back.
Finally, the sixth time. I held a gun to my head. It was probably the most terrifying and closest to success I've had. I did pull the trigger, but there was not a single bullet in it. I always thought dad had kept EVERY gun that he owned loaded with bullets. I cried so hard that day.

I open a monster, grab my backpack and keys, then I was off to college. I was a loner. No friends, no life, basic teacher's pet. I loved science and psychology. I was a girl who dressed in all black that rich kids made fun of, being called a devil worshipper, les-bo, boy, it, tramp, and all that shit. I am a Satanist but, damn. I have had jocks follow me home and I would wake up to GOTH GIRL spray-painted onto my wall outside of my door in the hall and I would have to pay for it.

Today, we are learning about black holes in science. My teacher calls, "Ash! Would you like to explain to the class what a black hole in outer space is?"
I nodded and stood up. I automatically heard whispers about my purple hair and paint-splattered black jeans. "Yes, professor Frank. A black hole is a region of spacetime exhibiting strong gravitational effects that nothing can escape from inside it. Not even light. The theory of general relativity predicts that a sufficiently compact mass can deform spacetime to form a black hole." I sit back down as he nods, "Well done, Ash. Right on point! The black hole..."
I zone out into my own world. Wondering why I did not have anyone to share my thoughts with, to lie next to, to cry on when the voices kick on, to share body heat with, or anything. Love. Then, I reminded myself that I had basically quit. It has been a year since I have even tried with anyone. My last relationships were the same thing, over and over. Cheat, lie, abuse, and/or abandon. Cheat, lie, abuse, and/or abandon. I have been hurt. Alot.
I used to have a best friend. Turns out, we both wanted different lives. Amber dropped out, got engaged to a guy with a great job but lives with his mom, they have a baby I was supposed to be the God Mother of, then, boom, ties were cut. I graduated, got a job, got into college, got my own place, and i do nothing but study and play video games all the time.
"...and that is all for today! Do not forget to go onto the campus website to review for your test tomorrow! Have a great day, ash.", he says to me as we both smile and I exit the room. I did not realize I was out that long. I'm going to have to really study tonight.

I get home, lock the doors, and get started on my homework while listening to my favorite band, Slipknot. After about 3 hours of pizza, Mountain Dew, and non-stop studying, I was knocked out.

And that is the story of my life.