*WARNING*
Rainbow Dash basically falls in love with a watermelon, that's about it. But it is incredibly funny if you care to read.
This is a parody on how Rainbow Dash is the center of every shipping chart, and she's been paired with everything but the kitchen sink (and even NOW has been paired with a kitchen sink), and I decided, "Why the hay not?"
If the definition of clop is the typing of sex or genitalia, then this is NOT clop. However, she does have some PG-14-rated fun with that watermelon.
Rainbow Dash Seduces a Watermelon
“One minute, I’ll be right there!” Twilight called from inside. Rainbow nodded to herself and waited patiently outside, which was strangely out-of-character for her. Then again, having a get-together with Twilight every week for a book club was also very out-of-character.
The door opened, and Twilight smiled through the doorway. “Hello again, Rainbow Dash! Here for book club?”
Dash cocked an eyebrow. “No, I’m here for the Wonderbolts convention,” she said sarcastically. “Of course I am, Twilight.”
Ignoring the sarcasm, Twilight motioned for Rainbow Dash to come inside, and she obeyed. Inside, there were three other ponies; two mares and a stallion. She recognized the mares as Berry Punch and Roseluck. The colt, however, was new.
She took a seat in the ring of ponies, and Twilight stood in the middle. “Hello again, everypony! I’d like to welcome our newest member, Cloud Cover.” The mares in the circle all clapped their hooves softly. “He said that he’s around the same chapter as the rest of us, so there should be no problems integrating him.”
Rainbow Dash’s eyes lit up. “Whoa, Twilight! You just met him!” What kind of book club was this?
Twilight buried her face in her hoof. “Integrate means to adapt, Rainbow Dash.”
Dash smiled sheepishly. “Oh.”
Twilight took a seat at the circle, and pulled out a thick book, as did everypony else. “Alright, let’s discuss how Crow Caller is battling his psychosis in chapter ten…”
***
“Thanks for coming!” Twilight called out to the last guest as she departed. The sky was turning a slight pink as dusk began to settle. Rainbow Dash and Twilight were all alone, save for a disgruntled Spike cleaning up plates and glasses half-full of tea.
“So,” Twilight began, “how are you enjoying the book, Rainbow Dash?”
Dash shook her head wildly. “I guess it’s pretty cool, but I still would’ve chosen a better name; I mean, ‘Crow that is Life’s Bane?’ What does that even mean?”
“It means several things,” Twilight explained. “The Crow is often affiliated with hard times or death in old pony mythology, and emulates Crow Caller’s predicament as becoming the Grim Reaper. Both the Crow and Death are considered life’s bane.”
“Okay,” Rainbow Dash said, nodding. “But I still have one question; what the hay does ‘Bane’ mean?”
“Kind of like enemy,” Twilight said. “Or maybe nemesis. Like, your bane would be slow. Get it now?”
Rainbow Dash rubbed her stomach and nodded. “Yeah, but it’
s hard thinking when I’m hungry. Let’s face it; tea and crackers just don’t cut it with me.”
Twilight giggled. “Well, I just bought some exotic fruits the other day, would you like one?”
Dash nodded. “What are they?”
