Second Try

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“Will I be able to forget him?”

I asked the couple in front of me but they just stared at me blankly. My heart is in pain as if I’m being stabbed. I shrugged the thought of him and I gulped the liquor I was holding. I know the answer is no and that alone makes my heart in more pain.

“Bea, you drank too much. Come on, we will drive you home.” I looked at Katrina and I refused.

“You can go home, I can manage.” I said with finality.

Bacon held Kat’s arms as she was about to hit me. “Babe, let her be. I guess she won’t listen to us anyway.”

Time passed and I know I’m already drunk. My head is killing me big time and I know I’m going to suffer in the morning. I stood up and walked zigzag to the exit of the bar when I saw a familiar face walking towards me. I covered my mouth then rushed to the nearest street gutter and I threw up. I hope I can also threw out my feelings for him I thought to myself.

He is now beside me as I try to get away but before I even move an inch, he held my arm tight. I’m a bit annoyed so I looked at him straight in his eyes and gave him an irritated face.

“Beatriz, what do you think you’re doing?!” He said in an annoyed tone. Oh how I missed his voice.

I tried to hold back my tears as I answered back “Why do you even care?”

My voice cracked and I threw up again. I was about to look at him but everything went black. Damn those liquors.

 
*The next morning*

 
“Are you sure you’re okay, anak?”

I nodded as an answer. I know I’m not okay but I won’t show my Mom how broken I was. I have no idea what happened why Thirdy broke up with me. We are okay, we didn’t fight or anything. The memory from last night flashed through my mind. The way he carefully put me to bed and wiped my body with wet towel. He saw me at my most fragile state and it made my heart in pain again.

“Drink the medicine I prepared and let yourself recover. I love you, Isabel.” Mom kissed my forehead and left me for work. I wish I am strong enough to tell you what I’m feeling, Mom.

I grabbed my phone from my bedside table only to find missed calls and texts from my teammates. I ignored their messages and I cried myself to sleep.

“I love you, Thirds. Don’t leave me please!” I shouted and reached for him while he is slowly drifting away from me.

I love you too, Beatriz but I’m sorry.” And then I woke up.

 
I wiped my tears and called Ate Ly. This pain is just too much for me to handle. He left me, that’s for sure but the reason is not clear for me.

“Bea, think about yourself this time. Not everything is about Thirdy. The girls told me you were always late in practice and you seem unfocused. The season is approaching and this is not the Bea we know. Do not let the pain break you or take you away from yourself.” I can hear the sobs of ate Ly.

“If only I could take those pain away, Bei.” and it broke me more.
 

**

“Mom, chill. I’m not leaving for good.” I chuckled.

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