Never in a million years would I have ever thought I would be in this situation. When you hear about it you'd think that you'd never do it yourself or be a part of it yourself. When you hear about a couple who goes through it you think
"Why would they ever do that?"
"They seemed perfect?"
"They had everything why would he or she throw it away like that?"
And I don't blame you because I thought the same things myself. But he is just so mesmerizing and dangerous. He is the definition of irresistible. And I wasn't happy where I was. No matter how perfect my relationship was, he took me to a euphoric place that nobody else could ever take me.
I am ashamed of what I've done but I ultimately don't regret it. It was only suppose to be a one night thing but these kinds of things could go anywhere. And this went on longer than I could have ever imagined.
I was happily engaged to a multimillionaire, not that his title mattered, that I had known for 5 years. He was a safe guy, a safe haven for me, but being human, it was never enough for me. Our relationship was just boring. Now don't get me wrong, Nathan is the sweetest, most charismatic guy that I've come to know that treats me right but our sex life is so boring. I understand that not every guy is flawless but I mean I wish we, well he, could change things up a bit once in a while. Plus he was always working so we barely even had time to do it. I was at the point of breaking and I couldn't help but to tell my friend Skylar about my problems.
"We should go out then!"
"What do you mean?"
"Well since you're not getting what you need at home why not try other places?"
"I don't think I could do that to Nathan though. He would be heartbroken."
"Who says that he has to know?" She says while wiggling her eyebrows.
I laugh. "I don't know. I have to think about it."
"Okay but just know we can just go hang out and if nothing happens then nothing happens, we just have fun. But if there is someone you see that you like I think you should go for it."
"Okay." I say while rolling my eyes and smiling.
I could never cheat on Nathan like that. That would be so unlike me. I could only dream of actually doing something so reckless.
You're probably saying "Just leave the guy! You're obviously not happy!" And let me tell you, I tried that already. Well I wasn't sure of leaving him so I talked to my parents about it.
"Why would you ever do that?!?"
"I'm just not happy with him mom. He is just so boring."
"Who said you had to be happy in a relationship? As long as he treats you right and provides well for you, which I know he is doing, you must stay with him."
I couldn't believe what my mom was saying.
"Are you saying that you're not happy with dad?"
She sighs.
"Listen Robyn, it's a different situation with your dad. Your father and I married at such a young age that we didn't know what we were doing. It wasn't until we were struggling financially that we knew what we got ourselves into. And I can't bear to think of you suffering like that. That's why it's best that you stay with Nathan no matter what."
I knew I couldn't let my parents down. It would disappoint them if I tried to leave Nathan.
"Okay mom."
"Now," She says while wiping away the tears from her eyes so that she wouldn't ruin her makeup "lets go make lunch for your father and fiancé.
I even tried talking to Nathan about it.
He had just got home from work and was already headed straight into his office. I tried to catch up to him.
"Hey love."
He looks up from his phone.
"Oh hey Robyn."
He looks straight back to his phone and keeps walking.
"Um I was wondering if we could talk." I ask unsure of how he would react.
"Not now. I have some work to do."
"But didn't you just come back from work?"
"This is different Robyn."
We walk upstairs.
"But it's important."
He stops in his tracks and he turns to me.
"Did the gardener forget to trim the bushes?"
I give him a confused look. "No?"
"Oh okay." And he continues to his office.
Is the gardener more important than me? I shake the thought and try to get his attention again.
"Honey it's about-
"Listen Robyn whatever it is, it can wait, okay?" He says giving me a stern look.
"But-
He puts his hand up to silence me like a child.
"I'll see you later." And with that he goes into his office and closes the door.
I'm left standing in the hallway with my hand covering my mouth to silence my sobs.
I've tried everything that I could that would bring no harm to anyone but nothing worked. I tried venting to see if I could lift some weight off of me but that only made me curious. I tried getting advice but that only made me feel guilty. I tried talking to my fiancé but it blew up in my face. What else could I do that would solve my problem?
"Hey Robyn! I wasn't expecting you to call this late? What's up?"
"Hey Sky? Do you remember that conversation that we had a couple of weeks ago at work and I told you I'd think about it."
"Yes?" She asks eagerly.
"Well I finally have my answer." I say confidently.
"And that is?" She asks even though she already knows the answer.
"Let's go out."
"See! I knew you'd come around! I'll pick you up in one hour!"
"Okay."
I hang up the phone and I can't shake off the feeling of butterflies in my stomach. Why am I nervous? I have nothing to worry about.
I mean sure I could potentially cheat on my fiancé who I've know for 5 years but he could probably care less.
What could go wrong?
