The Cage Of Culture

A priveledged Child.

My mother used to say that when I was born, I had skin that was the color of freshly fallen snow and my cheeks were as rosy as roses themselves. My eyes, however, were brown. Just like everyone else's. She describes this feature of mine as a great drawback to an otherwise perfect appearance for a baby.
    The fair complexion that I had as a child of hardly 3 months led to the attraction of my dear uncle Bilal. My mother (Amma as I liked to call her) said that Uncle Bilal was so struck with my beauty that he presented a proposal. He had a 10 year old son. And for him, he asked my hand in marriage, when I would come of age.
So you see, when I was only 3 months old, I was betrothed to my cousin Arsal. I was to marry him when I reached the age of 15. A boy 10 years older than myself.
     My father is a clerk. He earns just enough to feed us and provide a bed. And with 2 sisters and 2 brothers, this was more than enough. We do not own a house. We live on rent in a melancholy old building near Nowshehra. My oldest sister, Hina, is 28 and Unmarried. This might seem like a young age for some. But in my part of the world, she is a disgrace to the family. 28 years, uneducated, unemployed and Unmarried. She certainly was a burden to my parents. Anyone who visited our house would not miss an opportunity to taunt my parents on their unwedded daughter. My younger sister is Farwa. She and I went to school together. But after a twisted turn of events, we were both deprived of that priveledge. My 2 brothers Ashir and Aamir were not very supportive of us going to school. They did not let Hina appa go. And were reluctant to send us as well. Even though Aamir was 3 years younger than I was and Aashir was my twin brother.
   

   At the age of 8, I suffered an illness which drained my body of all kinds of strength. My skin turned Grey. And I hardly ate anything.
When I recovered, I was no more the pretty baby I was with snowy skin and rosy cheeks. I was medium brown. And looked malnutritioned. I was frail and weak. And I never could fix that. This is when the horror started. I was made fun of because of my brown skin and skinny body. I was the brown weak kid no one would play with because she was always too 'tired' and had back problems. Everyone thought Uncle Bilal and his wife would break off the commitment he made to my parents. After all, why would anyone want to marry off their precious son to an unattractive girl. But they were willing to keep their promise and marry me to their beloved son. This was only because of the pity Uncle Bilal had for our father. Who earned far less than he did.
If I looked exactly like this, but only had porcelain skin, everyone would worship me. But alas, I was a dark girl. A shame indeed.
   My mother used to say I'm blessed to have an uncle who was willing to accept me. I was Blessed to have a future. I was blessed to have someone to marry. After all, Uncle Bilal did not want dowry. Even if he did, my father could not afford it. Amma keeps reminding me of Hina Appa and how she is going to be alone forever and unhappy as a spinster even though she was prettier than I was now.

    For the greater part of my childhood, till I turned 15, everyone kept reminding me that I was a lucky girl who managed to land a good husband even with skin the color of wood and eyes sinking into their orbits.