Get Any Worse (Completed)

what the fuck

Jared

It was the weekend and evan was out with zoe as always in all honesty ive always felt like zoe is gay for alana but i guess i was wrong

He barely has any time for me anymore when he tells me i just act like its no big deal but it s a big fucking deal

I come home to a empty house with no one to talk to and talking to my adorable crush is so much better then whats been going on

We haven't hung out in an entire month zoe is taking all his time and i sincerely miss him

I go to the bathroom and take off my hoodie I've worn hoodies for years now and no one has noticed not even my own mother

Scars line my arms up and down everywhere some newer cuts some scars fading

I grab my box cutter its the best thing that i could find and it gets the job done

1
Pathetic
2
Ugly
3
Fat
4
You think he likes you
5
Asshole
6
Your a jerk to everyone
7
Everyone hates you
8
No one could love you
9
Evan
10
Evan

I look at my arms all bloody with cuts i just stare at it not attemtping to move and then i feel the waterfalls

"God jared you're so pathetic no one wants to be friends with you even the nicest boy on earth your crush evan hansen why were you selfish enough to like him"

I clean up this mess that i made put on my hoodie and just plop onto bed

~time skip~

I navigate the halls and go to my locker not even bothering to check on evan i glance over at him and hes talking to zoe as always

I run into class not giving any care in the world

~time skip because the author doesn't know how highschool classes go~

I walk over to my ussual table of me,evan,zoe and alana

"Sup fuckers" i say putting my tray down beside evan zoe and alana just groan

They hate you

After a couple minutes of annoying them with my jokes i feel a burning in my throat like a raging fire my stomach feels like its dying i stop talking

"Jared?" Evan asks

I run into the bathroom no care for the world and throw up oh my god theres petals

Fuck no this can't be i can't have the hanahaki disease for the anxious boy no shit

"Jared are you ok" evan says knocking on my stall i flush and wipe the blood of my mouth and cover my mouth with my sleeve catching the drips of blood 

I unlock the door

"Oh my god jared you look so pale you're shaking are you ok"

I quickly wipe the blood before talking

"Yeah sorry ev"

I casually walk over to the sink and wash my face like i didn't just find out i have the hanahaki disease god im so weak

"Im free today class starts in three minutes this conversation isn't over" he said in full concern

"Evan my stomach just wasn't feel good"

"I don't know whaf your hiding but if you don't come to my house im going to yours" he says determined

I sigh god this side of him is so cute i feel the burning again

"Yeah ok"

I wave bye to him and throw up again fuck my luck is horrible

Evan

I wonder whats wrong with jared we haven't been hanging out because im so hung up with zoe but he hasn't seemed normal

And why the shrub did he throw up i suddenly hear horrifying throwing up sounds oh my god jared i frown at the bathroom and run to class

I have to find out whats wrong with him

~time skip~

I get into jareds car

"Jared whats wrong"

"Nothing i promise" he says in a tired tone

I feel so bad for him he looks exhausted and has this glossy look in his eyes that i can't read

I name the trees that are in yards in my head and i was about to name the group of trees in jermeys then i hear jared

"Were heere acorn"

I simply nod and get out of his car i pull out my keys to open the door to my house we walk up the stairs to my room

"Jared"

"Evan im fine"

"Please talk to me"

He just cracks a smile and puts a hand on my shoulder

"Im fine i swear my stomach was just acting up"

I don't beleive him but i slowly nod anyway

Jared

I feel a wash of relief flood into my mind when evan nods then i remember i have to ho home to that lonely ass house

I feel safe when im around evan and feel so alone and miserable at home this has been the first time in 2 months that ive gotten to hang out with evan what if-

"Jared you ok you have been staring at the wall"

"Yeah sorry what you wanna do acorn"

"Well i was wondering if you could sleep over i mean tommorrow ia friday"

"Yeah sure let me call my mom"

"Hey mom can i stay at evans tonight"

"Yes honestly i won't be home for a while so you don't have to ask"

"Ok by mom"

"Bye jared"

I walk out of the bathroom and sit on the bed beside evan

"My mom said i go stay over"

"Ok! I need to tell you all that's been going on" he says excitedly i can't help but giggle at his adorableness

~time skip~

Evan spends hours talking about zoe and how perfect she is and about their first kiss and i just put a smile on my face and pretend to be ok

And then i feel the burning again

"Shit.."

"Jared?!"

I stumble into the bathroom lock the door and throw up

Evan

I hear jared and i can feel my heart crack i didn't know he was sick how much have i missed

"Fuck!" "Fuck! You had to throw up heere out of all places" i hear jared say in between sobs

I knock on the door

"Jare?"

"S-sorry"

"Its fine please open the door" i hear some shuffling and the opening of a trash can and im guessing he just washed his face he unlocks the door

"Hey jare you ok?"

"Why are there petals on the floor

He just stood there wide eyed and looked at the petals