Room 102

It's a Sunday night. In a old bar, where the lights are low as the prices, a man is sitting at counter. With a silent sigh he orders another shot of vodka and a beer, still not ready to get back to his hotel room.

Three hours ago he felt like he could rule the world, but once again he blamed himself for being the idiot that he was. Believing, she could change her mind. With shaking hands, he pulls off the bandana he used to wear on the stage and runs his fingers through the auburn hair. He takes a hit of the beer, a gulp vodka straight after and for a second it feels like he could forget everything. But he couldn't. „Oh Josephine..", he whispers and shakes his head slightly, knowing she can't hear him. 15 years ago, they met in the favorite record shop of his, where she sold him a Willie Nelson vinyl, he was searching for ages. Her smile was mesmerizing and he got lost in her beautiful, bluegreen eyes within seconds. He was a lot on tour since the Foo Fighters been such a big part of his life, but he never missed a chance to give her a visit every now and then. „Hey Christopher, where have you been? Another month of touring, eh?" With a huge grin, she was leaning against the selling counter and only the sound of her soft voice gave him chills. And in this tiny and chaotic record store he fell in love with her. „It feels like half of a year since the last time we met," he admitted and came closer to her. His hands shyly in the pockets of his favorite jeans. For the first time in his life, he forgot about his natural confidence and his lot used and always working „Shifty-charm". Just a few times later, he took a chance to take her out for a drink. They talked the whole night, laughed a lot and became friends. They broke each others heart more than one time.

Josephine was always his rock, when it feels like the waves of being famous pulled him away. She never left, even when he acted like an asshole. Alcohol and cocaine, messing around with his life. There were days when he treated her like a piece of shit. All he wanted was someone that kept him save from all the pain. He just couldn't talk about it.

There were times of not seeing each other for half a year. But when he was standing in front of her apartments door and ringed the bell, there was always this warm smile of hers that welcomed him back. Yes, they fought a lot and sometimes it got really nasty. Most time it ended up with tears. And when he hold her tight, trying to make her stop crying he realized how much fucked up he was. Chris was always restless and Josephine was home. Sometimes they were so much alike, that is was kind of weird. And sometimes they were led into different directions. But for some reasons, their ways crossed each other again and again.

He never got tired thinking about the times when she visited him on tour. His bandmates made her a part of the family instantly and it felt just natural, having her on the side stage, dancing along to their songs. Like this night. It's been a while since she did this for the last time, but he invited her and her friends for the show. He got her backstage passes, picked them up for an early dinner with the band and their families and it felt so much alright, having her close to him. She made him see, how much time has passed. How much has happened since then. Oh, they were so young. Fifteen years later, he was a little more grown up, a bit more settled down but still he got that restless heart. Because of her. She appeared with her flaming red hair, her breathtaking smile and her lovely giggles. How much he missed and loved her.

For a second he turned around, while Dave was taking to the audience, Josephine standing on the side stage, smiling of him so passionate and loving. Once again, there was this terribly aching stich in his heart. She was a married woman. Two years ago she said „I do" to this super nice guy. John. Chris hated him right after they met each other for the first time. He got a well paid job as a police officer, a house at the nicest part of town and he seemed to be the good catch. But he made Chris even more look like a fucked up rocktstar.

Quietly he pays the bill, taking his drunk ass back to the hotel. He feels like he was so close to throwing up, but somehow he manages it to get undress and crawl into his comfortable hotel bed. Tired he lights a cigarette, taking a deep breath and start staring at the wall. If just Josephine could be there. He just wanted to hold her close. But she left minutes after the show with her friends. She was pregnant and with her showing baby belly she looked even more gorgeous. If this baby could be his. Oh he would love it and taking so much care of it. But it never was and never will he his child. And she never was and never will be his girl.

Somewhere in a hotel room, there is a heart breaking. He is staring at her picture and sending messages, feeling like a lovesick fool. They will always love each other, like they did before. But it seems like they were never suppose to be together. Not when she quit her job to follow him on tour, when she caught him with groupies time after time. This was never supposed to work. Not when she dragged him to rehab, or when he attacked her with words. Or when she was sitting at home, crying and missing him. If he hadn't been so selfish all this years, he might had realized how much she cared for him as well, he couldn't see it. Months turned into years, into a decade and after all this pain she was into, she decided to let go. To start a new life, maybe with a second try.

Somewhere in another bed, Josephine was staring at the ceiling. Her husband was sleeping since the second she came home, but she just couldn't fall asleep. She was thinking about a pair of soft blue eyes, she knew so well. So much time had passed since she met Chris in another life. It feels like, it's been hundred years ago. She loved him for so long, but she wasn't able to say it. So she tried to be there for him, even when it nearly broke her into pieces. Josephine tried to be strong, when he couldn't. One second he made her feel like the center of the universe and seconds later, you want to leave and never come back. He broke her heart so many times. But when he was standing at her door, the guitar case in his hands, a gentle smile on his face.. She fell, again and again. It had to stop. Her foolish self imagined a ring would change it. It was a lie. Of course, she loved John and she already loved the family they would be in a few months. But she always loved the reckless rambler, that made her life so exiting. She adored him as the loyal friend and she was kind of addicted to his charm.

With a sad sigh she closed her eyes. It would get better some day. Hopefully.

Another hour passed. He has to leave the city early in the morning, but still he couldn't rest. Tomorrow there will be another day. Another chance to start again. Another try.

„Oh sweet Josephine..", he mumbled before he fell asleep. Somewhere in room 102.