In A Different Angle

"Gina!", Lance said as he reached for her face, caressing it softly. Then he looked at me with those sharp eyes.

"Stephanie, what have you done?!", he angrily asked, almost wanting to hurt me even.

I gave them my bitch smile and then walked my way out but he grabbed my arms harshly.

"Fuck off," he said.

I ignored him and let go of his grip as I continue to walk my way out with all the glares coming from every single judgemental stare.

"Pokpok, malandi, haliparot," ang sabi nila.

As I walk, suddenly I thought of his eyes. I remember how they looked at me. That wasn't the way he looked at mine before. He looked at me with disgust, not the same as they were months ago, when they were still looking at me with such love, with longing and with respect.

Tangina mahal na mahal ko yung mga mata mo kase ramdam na ramdam ko kung gaano ako kahalaga sa'yo. Ano bang nangyari?

I remembered how you gripped my arms earlier. Lance, it was not the same as before. It was not the same touch, not the same feel. How you gripped me today is incomparable on how our skin brushed with each other when you loved me like no other. It was different on how you held me in your arms, hugging me while clasped together were our palms.

Lance, gustong gusto ko yung hawak mo kase alam kong aalagaan mo ko, yayakapin mo ko at kailanman di mo ko bibitawan. Ano bang nangyari?

With me thinking about what happened, someone made me wake up from all my thoughts.

"Come," she calmly said with a soft smile.

I held her hand and we went inside my house. Lance, this was our house.

"Kaya pa?", sabi nya.

Tumango ako bagamat ang mga ngiti'y huwad at mga luha'y nagbabadyang tumulo sa pagod na mga mata.

"Okay lang umiyak," kasabay ng kay higpit na yakap, yakap na  nagpaparamdam na ayos lang maging mahina, ayos lang.

"Mahal na mahal ko siya eh. Tangina alam nya ba yon? I waited, I supported his dream pero bakit kumabit sya?", saad ko sa pagitan ng mga hikbi't hirap na paghinga.

She was  just there, listening.

"Bakit sa paningin ng iba ako pa yung masama? Bakit pinipilit nila na malandi ako? Na di ako makaget over sa nakaraan? Sobrang unfair lang eh. Bakit sila masaya kung tangina, nagsimula lang naman sila sa bawal na pagkikita? Bakit hinuhusgahan nila ko eh hindi naman nila alam ang istorya", iyak ko kasabay ng paghigpit ng yakap.

"You know what, Stephanie? In a story, there's always a different perspective. Kung isa lang ang makikinig ng isang tao, they will go with them. For example, a teleserye. We believe that this character is the protagonist because we were told to do so. The first thing that we believe is that character's perspective pero what if ang nauna nating makitang perspective ay yung sa kontrabida? There's a chance na we change kung sino talaga sa tingin natin ang bida. If we heard the antagonist's agony first, then we might change our mind set na baka sya talaga yung bida. Kaya sometimes, the right one seems to be wrong in the story of others because they were told using a different perspective. So, tell them. Tell all the people the different vision. Tell the story in a different angle, your angle," she said and I was in awe.

"Steph, one last fight then you're good to go. Pakawalan mo na ang sarili mo," she said.

I smiled as I ran and drove to their engagement party.

I was just there, listening on their so-called-story.

"Mahal na mahal ko sya pero di pa ko handa," sabi ni Lance.

Of course you weren't ready. You were with me.

"Pero di nagtagal, tinatagan ko ang loob ko. And that's how I got her," he continued.

There were so many awwws as they felt touched by his statement.

"I love you," she whispered in the middle of his speech.

Gina grabbed the microphone, "And now, no one's gonna keep us apart."

That was my cue to walk.

"What are you doing here?!" her bestfriend angrily asked as she saw me.

I continued walking and grabbed the mic from her hands. They were shocked.

"Now, it's my part of the story," I started.

Lance gripped my shoulders and shouted, "What the hell are you doing here?!"

"Get down there you slut!", a person from the crowd.

I held his hands and whispered, "I won't stop you from your marriage. This is the last. Let me tell them my story."

I stared at the people, "Alam nyo ba na naging si Gina at Lance nung kami pa?"

"Manahimik ka bruhilda! Bumaba ka dyan! Past ka lang!"

"No. Let me continue and shut your mouth!", I shouted with anger.

They all went silent.

I started to tear up, "Mahal na mahal ko yan. I gave my love, my respect, my all pero kumabit pa rin sa kanya si Gina. Do you know how hard I felt? How hurt I am?"

"I don't care! Mas bagay sila," a teenager shouted getting nods from the elders.

"I said shut the hell up!" another silence was brought.

"Stop romanticizing cheating! No matter how good they look together, it doesn't change the fact na may natapakan silang tao! At ako yon! Kumabit sya sa boyfriend ko eh! Cheating, that was cheating. I was devastated. Kaya sana maintindihan nyo kung saan ako nanggagaling kase hindi sila yung api dito eh, ako. Ako yung inapi. Hindi ako yung kontrabida dito kase sila yung sumira ng buhay ko. Kaya please listen to me din naman. Understand my perspective. You keep on supporting this couple not knowing na their love came from hell. At wag nyo kong babanatan ng they we're in love cause that's still wrong. Lance," I stopped as I look at him.

"Sana inamin mo na lang. Sana nakipaghiwalay ka na lang kase I will let you go. You, for all people, you know that I will give you what you want. Ganon kita kamahal, Lance. If you just told me, I'll let you go. Alam mo. Alam na alam mo na ibibigay ko kung anong gusto mo kase I don't want you leaving me. Pero hindi eh. You chose to kiss someone behind my back. Wala kang konsensya. If you felt wrong, that means that what you were doing was wrong. You chose to be with her while you were with me. Hindi ba ko sapat?"

"Kayo?", I shouted to his family. "Bakit? Bakit sa tingin nyo ako yung mali whilst you all are very much aware sa nangyari. Napakabias nyo! Not because he's your family eh kukunsintihin nyo na sya. Family and friends are supposed to guide him pero bakit ganito? Ikaw, Paul?" I pointed at Lance's best friend. "You are very much aware on how it felt to be cheated on. Masakit, nakakamatay pero bakit sinuportahan mo pa din? Bakit pinipilit mong maging masaya kahit alam mong girlfriend mo yang hawak-hawak nya?"

"Stephanie, stop!" Paul said.

"Listen, I told you na I won't stop you from your marriage. I was just saying about my side. Now you know the two perspectives of this story so please don't judge me. Sana, sana tigilan nyo na. Stop taking sides kung di nyo alam ang buong nangyari. You don't know what I have been through," I said as I left them dumbfounded, probably thinking about what I said.

I walked away.

Yes, I won't stop your wedding. I just want you to hear the story in a different angle, mine.

I walked home and looked at the person inside my room. She was there, the only woman who understood me was waiting for me and said, "I'm proud how you made blind eyes see in a blinding darkness."