I woke up this morning, groggy in a daze. I rolled over to hold you, but you weren't there.
Years have passed and yet I still do this often. I reach for you, I look around, then I realize you're gone. You've been gone for years.
As I shower I wonder where you're at, what song your singing, who is making you smile. Ah, your smile. You have a beautiful smile. It's been so long since I was the source of your smile.
As I dress, I think about how you used to critique my style. You always made sure I left the house looking great. You reinforced my confidence to wear whatever I wanted.
My morning starts rough, lots of work and so much to do. I reach for the phone so I could call you and express my frustrations. You were always good at calming me down. Then I realize you won't answer my call.
As the day goes by, I am successful. I land the new account. I finish all that's on my plate, and I got that big promotion. I hurry home so I can share my great news. When I arrive, there's no one there.
Tonight's dinner is amazing. I make the sauce the way you showed me. I eat while watching our favorite show. I wash the dishes and I smirk because I think of how you would always look so relieved when I offered to wash them.
I lay my head upon my pillow. I close my eyes to say my prayers. I ask God to bless me and help me to grow. I ask him to guide my loved ones and keep them safe. I always save you for last. My prayers for you go on and on.
"Dear God, please heal my love's heart. Help her to find forgiveness and give her strength. Keep her focused and successful, never allow her to stray far from her path. Let her blossom and be strong; for her and her loved ones. May she achieve an inner peace, one she could not achieve with me. Let her love and be loved; the way she deserves. Finally God, give her happiness."
As I drift away to the world of dreams, I smile. I know that you'll be there. Waiting for me with a smile, yelling at me that I'm late; because I always am. You'll tell me about our next adventure; because we are always going on great ones. I never want to wake when I'm with you in my dreams. It's where I am most at home.
When I awake, I roll over to hold you....
