*hazel*
i lay on my bed. listening to music.
i love you by billie eilish comes on.
i sing along silently.
i take a cigarette out from my pocket. i light it and take a puff.
i blow the smoke out slowly.
i hear the front door open and close. then someone coming up the stairs.
my roommate nate walks in.
he gives me a disappointing look.
do i care? nope.
"what do you want?" i ask
"i wanted to know if you wanted to go out with me and the guys?"
"no." i respond coldly.
"your coming" he says.
"who says?"
"me. you should be out living life. your only 21 once."
"i don't care. my life's a complete waste anyway."
"hazel-"
"no nate. you know exactly what i've went through. all that pain, regret and guilt doesn't go away. the fact that i have to live with it for the rest my life makes it hard for me."
"but haz it wasn't your fault. you need to understand that and i'm not just saying that cause i'm your friend. i'm saying that cause anyone literally anyone who heard what happened would know it's not your fault. no one would blame you. and they definitely don't blame you."
"but i'm the reason they're gone. i'm the reason why i'm where i am now. don't get me wrong, i'm grateful for you and what you've done for me the past year but you i'd rather be with them"
"i know hazel, i know."
i take another puff of my cigarette.
"take a shower and get ready, your coming whether you like it or not"
i groan and get up.
i go to my bathroom and get undressed.
i get into my shower and let the hot water hit my body.
i wash my hair, body and shave.
i get out and wrap a towel around my body.
i quickly blow dry my hair a little bit and throw on some mascara.
i walked out and went to my closet.
i grabbed a black hoodie, some black leggings and my high top converse.
he didn't really say what we were doing so i just decided to dress casual.
i put deodorant and some perfume on and went down stairs.
"ready?"
"yup"
we got into nate's car and headed to wherever we're going.
i had my phone plugged into the aux.
i pressed shuffle and lotta love by the jacks came on. probably my favorite song from the album.
i started singing along to it and so did nate.
"I COULD CRY TO, FIGHT WITH YOU BEG YOU TO STAY BY I" we screamed at the top of our lungs.
"WONT TRY TO CHANGE YOUR MIND I CANT MAKE YOU LOVE ME IF YOU DONT, BUT IVE HELD YOU SO SO TIGHT, ITS GONNA TAKE A LOTTA LOVE TO LET YOU LOTTA LOVE TO LET YOU GO-OH-OH-OH"
