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pain, agony, guilt. those three words are just enough to explain my feelings upon a daily basis. the world is a dark place and many don't see that. its the first of january, the beginning of yet another year of suffering. but its alright, i don't mind the pain, i really don't.
life is a beautiful thing, they say. but i see it as none other than an illusion to simply take you away from the harsh reality. rich or poor. smart or dumb. financially stable or otherwise. none of those matter anymore, because one mistake and you're out.
i want to run away. but there's no one or no where to run to. i want the time to stop ticking. but it's like a bomb, counting down to the last seconds of your life. now you much be thinking, 'if you're so miserable and depressed, why don't you just die?'
i mean i would, but then again what does dying do for me when i simply enjoy my own suffering. i want to see them, the people who raised me, but i'm not allowed to. i want to just leave the face of the world, but i can't.
like thick ropes pulling me back i have nothing to do but to sit there and wait for a non-existent savior to come to my rescue. but reality isn't a fairy tale, and i'm no damsel in distress. they say i should be the one to come to one's rescue, but what's the use of helping others with something you can't overcome yourself?
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