Peters day had started out surprisingly normal. He'd woken up at the Tower, gone out for a run with Steve and Bucky, had Waffles with Pepper, Thor, Loki and Wanda, and help Bruce feed the genetically engineered tarantulas that were rescued form Oscorp before heading in off to school.
Even school it's self had been mundane so far. Flash was an asshole, Ned was his usually nerdy self and MJ...Well... shes MJ, no further discussion needed.
Carelessly dumping his bag next to Ned's, Peter plopped down in his chair and the two bros did their ridiculously complex handshake.
"Hey Peter, You know how school ends at like 1:30 on Tuesday, My Great Aunt bought me a R2D2 Lego model that's like two feet fricking tall." Ned gushed, flailing his hands around in excitement. "And I was wondering if you could come round before going on patrol, I mean, well we haven't been hanging out as much as we used to...and ...well.."
Peter lowered his head, his shoulders shaking, before clasping his spidery hands onto his best friends shoulders and with his voice quivering with excitement.
"Heck fricking yeah boi"
With the duo wrapped up in their own little nerdy world, neither no them noticed Flash grabbing Peters backpack and start rifling through it, pulling out binders covered in stickers (Courtesy of Wade and Clint) and was about to pull out what he thought was a red T shirt stuffed into the bottom of the bag, reaching his hand deeper into the bottomless pit of schoolwork, he started trying to tug it out, when two eerily large fangs sunk deep into his thumb. It took him a second for his brain to comprehend what he was seeing.
Then with a demented screech, Flash yeeted the bag across the lab, blabbering gibberish, and mumbling "Holy shit i'm poisoned, i'm gonna die, shit shit shit shit!"
Most of the class had gathered around Flash, questioning what was wrong and trying to console him. The teacher Mrs, Higgins stormed across the room, throwing an accusatory glare at Peter who was staring in shock at his previously yeeted backpack, confused as hell.Then from the depths of the battered blue backpack, a long, hairy black spider leg cautiously stepped out, tentatively feeling the cold tile floor before deciding to continue its grand escape. Another leg appeared, just as long and terrifying as the other, and a large head about the size of a plum, with 8 large black eyes and two massive fangs peeped out.
The room became deadly silent as the class stared at the behemoth, their small teenage brains trying to comprehend that they were staring at a gigantic, genetically modified tarantula.
Panic was slowly beginning to set in, kids were slowly going into shock and one of the jocks passed out, but no one really cared about him anyway because they were all staring at Puny Peter Parker, desperate for answers.Despite the growing hysteria that had yet to erupt into a stampede, Peter calmly got up and slowly sat down in front of the monster that had just crawled out of his backpack.
Smiling Peter gently patted his knees, like hes was beckoning a dog and gently cooed." Hey Sprinkles, what are you doing here nugget? Aww poor baby is the floor to cold? C'mere sweetheart."
The tarantula clicked her fangs at Peter curiously, looked up at his with trusting eyes and slowly crawled into his lap as Peter stroked her abdomen. However the arachnid to arachnid bonding was quickly cut short as none other than Bruce Motherfucking Banner holding a dog crate, practically kicked down the classroom door screaming-
"PETER SPRIKLES IS- oh never mind you have her." He sighed with relief, and then much to his horror, Sprinkles made a beeline for him, chirping happily in anticipation of seeing her supposed friend. She had grown quite attached to Bruce, as being infused with genes of a corgi, and Macaw, Sprinkles was quite friendly and colorful, and the only thing Bruce would willingly do to interact with her was to poke or stroke her with a toothbrush. She loved the toothbrush and by extension; Bruce.
With a yelp the famous Avenger valiantly unsheathed a bright pink Barbie toothbrush from is coat and held it out in front of himself like it was his lifeline in front of this colorful behemoth. He dropped the dog crate flung open its flimsy mesh door, and yeeted the toothbrush inside. The massive tarantula barreled after her favorite play thing, and Bruce slammed the door shut behind her. Locking it into place.
With a tired grumble, Bruce cautiously picked up the crate and shuffled out the classroom, only mumbling a "Sorry Peter." Before leaving.
The class of confused teenagers all stood with their mouths agape, wondering what the hell just happened. Then Flash piped up from the back.
"Was that thing poisonous?"
Peter slowly turned to Flash. "Your thinking venomous, and yeah she is. Why?"
Turning paler all the cocky teen could mutter was, "It bit me" He then promptly collapsed to the floor.
"Well fuck."
YOU ARE READING
Peter Parker's Peculiarities
HumorPeter Parker is a peculiar kid, he is a genius... and he can also stick to the ceiling. But we don't talk about that.
